Sense of Direction

Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too.

�Hey, I don�t want to tell you how to do something � but I can tell you that it�s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won�t dig into the ground.�

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other, �You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!�

�Yeah, but we�re getting farther from the truck,� the other added.






Two rednecks were out deer hunting. As they walked along they came upon a beautiful sexy blonde sunning on a rock.

The first redneck winked at her and asked �Are you game?�

�Sure am!� she exclaimed, winking back. So the second redneck shot her.


What�s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer Nuts are around a dollar seventy-nine, and deer nuts are just under a buck!

Have a great hunting season, and keep on laughing!!!

Aggies.....

I thought they were going to have Aggie in the storyline somewhere.

HERE YA' GO!


Why did the Aggie get rid of his freezer?

He got tired of cutting the ice into little squares to fit into the trays.

What's the best selling underarm deodorant in College Station?

Raid.

Why can't Aggie farmers raise chickens?

They plant the eggs too deep.

There was an aggie that saw a sign that said "Wet Cement". So he did.

How does an Aggie evacuate Houston in case of a hurricane?

Uses 610 Loop

How many aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?

Three. One to eat it and two to watch the road.

What do Aggies call road kill armadillo?

Possum on the half shell.

There was and aggie who wore the same pair of socks every day. His mother finally told him to put on a new pair of socks on every day. A few days later, he couldn't put his shoes on.

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found Him resting on the seventh day. He
inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of
satisfaction, and proudly pointed downward through the clouds. "Look
Michael, see what I have made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said,
"what is it?" "It's a planet" replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm
going to call it Earth, and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to
different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of
great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor, the
Middle East over there, will be a Hot Spot. Over there I've placed a
continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people,"
God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely
hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice." The
Archangel, impressed by Gods' work, then pointed to a particularly fine
place. "What's that?" "Ah," said God, "Austin, Texas. The most glorious
place on Earth. There are beautiful women and an exquisite campus, and it is
called 'The University of Texas at Austin'. The people from Austin are going
to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found
traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and
high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and
carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them winning athletic teams who
will be admired and feared by all who come across them." Michael gasped in
wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You
said there would be balance." God replied, "Wait until you see the
loud-mouth [censored] holes I'm putting next to them in College Station."

Why do TEXAS A&M graduates hang their diplomas
from the rear view mirror?

To justify their handicapped parking.

An Aggie was down on his luck so he decided to go out and kidnapped a child to get the ransom. He went to the park and snuck up on one of the kids. He grabbed him and took him behind a tree. He told the kid that he was kidnapped and pinned a note on the kid's shirt that read, "I have kidnapped your child. If you want to see him again, put $20,000 in a sack and leave it in front of the tree at the park. An Aggie." He told the child to make sure his parents saw the note and sent the child home.

The next day the Aggie went to the tree to find the sack. He looked inside and found the money he had asked for and a note that read, "How could one Aggie do this to another Aggie"?


There was a group of Aggie science students that wanted to take a trip to the sun, but some UT students said that was impossible and that they would burn up along the way before they reached the sun.

The Aggies replied, "We're going to travel at night!"


The teachers at A&M were having their weekly staff meeting when one teacher spoke up and said "Do you people realize we have a student here who has been attending classes for over nine years and he still hasn't receiced a degree???"

Why no we didn't know that . What can we do? We don't want A&Mto get a bad name. I know, one teacher said, "Let's gather all the students at Kyle field and give this guy a pop test. Something simple he can't possibly miss, and then we will hand him his diploma."

The next day everyone was gathered in the stadium. The teacher announced over the PA system, now son if you can answer this question, you will become a graduate of Texas A&M. Okay?

Okay he said.

Now take your time and answer this. How much is 3 plus 4? The student became deep in thought for a long period of time. Finally he spoke. The answer is 7!

The crowd went into an uproar and started hollering, whooping, and chanting, GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE, GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE !


You heard about the aggie pilot and his co-pilot that were flying across the Atlantic and discovered they were would not make it because they were running low on fuel. The aggie decided to lighten the load by jettisoning some fuel.


Q. Why don't Aggies use 911 in an emergency?
A. Because they can't find "eleven" on the phone dial.


An Aggie decides to raise chickens. So, he goes to the feed store and buys some chicks. He takes the chicks home, and plants them with their heads sticking up. He waters them, but they die. He goes back to the feed store and tells the proprietor that he bought defective chicks, and gets another set. This time he plants them with their heads sticking down. He waters them, but they die. He then sends a letter to his Alma Mater, describing the problem. They send a letter back asking for a soil sample.