I made these lists after confirmation of taking my first client out for the season next week, if you have any other choice comments from a client or guest lets hear um this could be a learing experience....lol

10 things I love to hear from a client that I am guiding.

1.Thank you
2.I will never forget my first deer
3.Man he dropped like a rock!
4.Here let me carry some of that
5.Is it ok to shoot?
6.Lets check the zero on my rifle before we hunt
7.I have extra ammo(for when some jacka$$ forgets theirs)
8.Dinner was great
9.Dont work so hard
10.No more chilli for you, your killing me crack a window!

10 thing I hate to hear (and have)

1.I think I hit it a little far back!
2.I brought my grunt call!
3.I'm the client here I'll shoot what I want to!
4.Get the tractor and move that blind 100yds this way so i can see better.
5.My steak is over cooked
6.Well this rifle was dead on last year!
7. So what kind of rifle do you have for me
8.I expect my sons first deer to be 160" or better, or its no tip for you! (yes this was a fun hunt to remember)
9. I forgot to tell you I have irritable bowel syndrome (another fun day in the woods)
10. Wish I had a better guide! (not a joke)

I am not a guide....but this one fits with just about everything


Hold my beer.....watch this!!!

I have one to add to the ones you love. The only guided hunt I ever did, I asked the guide "can I shoot some does for the freezer"? He was amazed and thanked me saying "nobody else hunts the does". When I downed two of them later that day and was cleaning them, he thanked me profusely.

The worst thing I ever heard from a guide, which happened to be the eveing before the first morning of the hunt...

"So, what do you want to do in the morning?"

He was serious, this fellow didn't know whitetail deer and did not know the property.

Guides have more patience than I do. I don't know if I'd have it in me, although I'm sure some people are easy and some people are bad dreams.

Luv2hunt----You hit the nail on the head, every one needs to help keep the doe population in check and its hard work. Last year I lost count at 15 doe killed, thats a lot of skinning, gutting and packing.

I've heard a few things during my experiences as a fishing guide. I do make it a point to go over ALL of the details of their trip and their expectaiongs before booking. If I don't think I can meet their expectations I won't book them. Also if the person is a jerk on the phone during a 5 minute conversation I don't want to spend an entire day with them in a boat. Being selective doesn't always pay the bills, but it sure does make my job a lot easier and provides a quality experience for all. And it keeps my wife from having to listen to me about a bad customer/trip.

11. If you want me to, I'm willing to help you clean that deer.

As a client, I let my guide know right away one thing. Tell me what you want me to do, you know better than me. I would have been the guide if it was the other way around.

I have guided duck and deer hunters in Illinois for fun.

Many times are:

Where will they come out?
Can you guarantee I will get one?
Can I call the shot when the ducks come in?
Will you shoot my birds if I miss? Uhm No!
Can I call? Goodness I really hate that one as most can't call?
How about, I shot it, I know I shot it my arrow went right through it! The arrow sticking in the ground is clean no blood.

OH yeah!!!!!!! Fun times.

My all time favorite is, lean your gun against that notch in the blind it will be ready for the birds that way. Being polite instead of saying or yelling, DO NOT POINT THAT BLASTED GUN AT ME!

"I can't see the deer you are pointing at... will you shoot it for me?"

If anyone ever asks me this again... I will say... "YES!"

how about
"oh no, it was a clean miss, lets stay in the stand and keep hunting"

Funny Things said by hunter:

1.) Holy $h!t, i can shoot that, thats the biggest deer i have ever seen. Um yessir thats our cull buck... (hah, florida boy)

2.) I can call really good i promise!

3.) So we have to walk?

Funny Things I said:

1.) Sir can you please put the barrel in the floor of the truck.

2.) Wait, Wait, Hoooold on. Get out of the truck and shoot over the hood, not across the truck and over my lap.

3.) Hold on, so whens the last time you shot your rifle?

4.) You brought what caliber to shoot a Bull Nilgai?

And the guy that always knows more than you about a place he has never been to and always has to 1up you on all your stories.. love these guys.

How about the guy who shows up and brings no beer or alcohol and proceeds to go on a 3 day drinking binge cleaning out your liquor stock, hitting the field once or twice, but waking up late and only hunting a short time, then at the end of the hunt he explains he won't be giving you a tip as he didn't see any deer.

For several years in between having our own lease my Dad and I hunted a day lease outside of Victoria. On at least 1 occassion "I thought that was unloaded!" as the gun goes off and puts a hole in the roof of the truck after a hunter was picked up.

And the response "I wanted to get my deer" to the question of why a fellow had crossed a fence onto neighboring property - said deer being one he had SHOT on the neighboring property..

Earl

now that would suck. we usually weed those guys out fast

Bad idea. This can screw the crown of your barrel up and reduce the accuracy. My guns ride in the truck chamber empty, barrel up or bolt open barrel up. Unless it is my AR and the flash hider keeps the barrel out of the crap in the floor board.

i have heard this before but when it comes to gettin my head blown off, And doin safari type hunts that we do i think the decesion is obvious.

had a guy one time send a .270 into a cedar tree because he didnt know how to unload his new T/C prohunter single shot after the hammer had been pulled back LOL.

Also had a guy straight off the boat from china unload all 17rnds from a GLOCK 9mm at a deer that walked out in front of us....where he got the glock I dont know and how none of the bullets hit that deer is a miracle!

Hahaha now thats funny i dont care who you are...

Hey wake me up if you see a good one!