It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great forum or travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and cabin doors, crowded with imbeciles who cannot resist the compunction to hijack every Ducks Unlimited thread with intellectually vacant ramblings about cap and trade.

I think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of imbeciles in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their conservatory betters is in the present deplorable state of the kingdom a very great additional grievance; and, therefore, whoever could find out a fair, cheap, and easy method of making these imbeciles sound, useful members of the commonwealth, would deserve so well of the public as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the nation.

As to my own part, having turned my thoughts for many years upon this important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of other projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in the computation. It is true, an imbecile just dropped into the forum may be supported by his own callous disregard for logic for many posts, with little other nourishment; and it is exactly at one post that I propose to provide for them in such a manner as instead of being a charge upon their conservatory betters or the forum, or wanting post privileges for the rest of their lives, they shall on the contrary contribute to the feeding, and partly to the clothing, of many thousands.

I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy Du-hating imbecile well nursed is at ten posts old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout.

Mushroom tea?

that is some authentic frontier jibberish!

well done.

That is Jonathan Swift... with a few edits.

I agree, if you want to debate that topic, start a new thread.

no doubt.

yes sir, and that is Blazing Saddles... with a few edits

It expressed a courage little seen in this day and age. What are we made of? Our fathers came across the prairies; fought Indians, fought drought, fought locusts, fought Dicks. Remember when Richard Nixon came in here and tried to take over this town? Well, we didn't give up then, and by gum we're not going to give up now!

Love it!!

So are you saying we should eat babies to solve the poverty issue at hand?

sorry if you have never read Swift before.

I was hoping for a more "modest" proposal.

I am proposing that we eat anyone who hijacks a DU event thread.