One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from
work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my
way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was
more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would
walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I
stopped at the diner and
before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked
beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the
gas. Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see! Me and
Exclaimed delightedly: 'Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.'
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the
Dinner table. I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my
blindfold, the telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold
until he returned and went to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me
and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was
out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg
and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer
truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin
from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone
farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the
air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded
my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when
my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had
peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve
Dinner guests seated around the table chorused: 'Happy Birthday!'

> > I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROFL......That is a good one!

Now that would have been funny!

I needed that! Thanks

LMAO