Questions about image and how you carry or present yourself to those in your life.

Let’s face it, we all have a private life and a public life to some degree. You may not want to admit but I think it’s true. Regardless if it’s a job that may keep you on your best behavior from 8-5 but then you are a slightly different person when you get home. Maybe you have to change your language at work and not cuss so much, maybe you have to present an entirely different image all together. Does this mean you are sellout to your true self by altering who you are in your daily walk? Is it dishonest? Or is it being responsible and mature in reading the room and knowing your audience?

Do you respect the preacher more than only drinks and cusses in private or would you respect him more if you shared a drink in a bar?

I think we all act differently and wear different faces for different people and situations in our lives. I try to be respectful to everyone up to the point that they don`t deserve it and then I don`t give 2 $hits about what they think. That`s who I am. I`m sure we all know very good people that act one way in a crowd, at work, church or down aisle #3 @ HEB but may act totally different sitting around a fire at the deer lease. Nothing wrong with that. Most people have a public face and a private face. They just do. I think a person should be able to just be themselves when they`re at home and not worry about every little thing they say or do unless it hurtful to someone. HR departments have ruined the workplace and there`s no need for one at home. The older I get, the less I like being around people in general that aren`t close family members or longtime friends so I wear them same face 99% of the time. Never really cared about being social at all or try to be someone that I wasn`t. BTW, I never had a beer with a preacher at all.

Pretty deep for a hunting forum. I try hard to be as real as possible everywhere. Normal folks with a modicum of social skills will naturally adjust their demeanor to the people they're around. But there's a difference between "situational awareness" and lying to make yourself look like something you're not.

Your pastor question kinda depends on if your Baptist/Church of Christ/Pentecostal, etc. or, if your particular denomination doesn't have a problem with alcohol in moderation. It'd still be a lie, if he's different in private, but if he preaches against something, then does it, that's a higher level of deception. I've shared a drink...and a cigar with my pastor. (We're Lutheran. Martin Luther's wife brewed beer. )

I had a brother that would do anything to project a certain image, and he taught his family to do the same thing. If any question even approached embarrassing them, they would (and do) lie, lie, lie their butts off to keep that image. I've recently read a bio where my niece, his daughter, bold-face lied about graduating from Tech. She's a preacher's wife.

“ Character is who you really are while reputation is simply what people think you are”

John Wooden

I am who I am everywhere and with anyone….I couldn’t give about anyone else’s opinion of me.

Ditto, I don't care if you like me or not, I am who I am all the time.

I’m the same person all the time. But at work I’m for sure less focal, I’m a professional at work, I don’t need or want to be that way in my private life.

Never thought about being different anywhere.
Sorry to say, I am what I am no matter where I am.

What I think is interesting is when you meet someone in person from an internet forum they act totally different than what they do on a forum. I met a fella that was selling a rifle from the classifieds and he comes across as extremely arrogant and condescending in his posts, but seemed to be nice in person. I guess the ability to hide behind a computer screen can change a person's personality.

With me, what you see is what you get. as for church, it's important to remember that every last person there is a sinner, same as I.

Only thing different about me at work is I don’t cuss as much. I do cuss like a sailor normally and I’d really like to quit but it’s what I do lol. But besides that I’m me, I wear the same thing and act the same way regardless who I’m around.

This thread will be filled with folks claiming they act and say exactly the same as they do at their in-laws Christmas dinner and as they do around a hunting camp campfire.

X2. I could give 2 chits if you like me or hate me but you’ll never have to worry about seeing two different versions. In my opinion fake people are more worried about their image and confident/successful people could care less how they’re perceived.

Real friends accept ya as you are.
Low-income-worker here, with a D- in grammer.
Apparently that offends some on here.

It was difficult being around gangsters all night and not use profanity after getting home. Now that I'm out of that career it has faded dramatically. Unless I get mad and then I'm right back to standing in the cut looking to make a body cold

Yes in the past I have, as do most people working in a large organization. You have to to conform and survive.

But now that I am retired …. what you see is what you get. I don’t care what anyone thinks of me or about me…with the exception of my wife and a few close friends. It is the happiest and most free I have ever been.

Who said anything about income level? You really do try to work that in everything. And the "grammer" (sic) is a lie. It's your schtick, and that gets tiresome, not offensive, just not funny.

I have to severely tone down my opinions around some of my grown kids and especially, some of their spouses. I wouldn't call that changing my "image", but sometimes you have to be the adult to keep things civil, and visits continuing. True family "blow ups" have lasting effects. I've found out the hard way. And for those that cop that "nobody's gonna make me act different" attitude, good luck with the pompous azz approach.

Whether you like it or not, everyone has their own "brand" that's based on the "optics" that describe what others see in them. But what I've always found most interesting is how many of those in the music and entertainment industries have a much different brand and optics within their careers than what they carry at home and with friends. The actress who plays Beth Dutton on the Yellowstone series is a perfect example of this.

And then there's the guy who acts like a hard arse at work, but says "how high" when his wife tells him to jump. I used to hunt with a guy who was very much like that.

Speaking of image...

My grandpa kept this on his wall, I have his plaque with this poem on my wall in my office...


The Man In The Glass
Peter Dale Wimbrow Sr.

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass.

He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest
For he’s with you, clear to the end
And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

I'm pretty much the same person at work as in private. The book case behind my desk tells a story that is a microcosm of who I am. It's there in every Zoom call I take. Was advised once to "blur" my background as to not make a bad impression, but I don't. If someone see's a hunting knife or pic, or notices my bottle of Whistle Pig, so be it. I find it makes for some great conversation starters.

same, I’m probably not the norm you’d think you’d meet off a hunting forum. My hat is always twisted back, prefer converse chuck taylors to boots, and 9 months out of the year I’m in shorts and flip flops only.

From 40+ years of management and consulting work, by work/public persona is much more together, confident, and authoritative than the private me.

I've spent so many years making decisions and providing guidance...at times it's been hard to not bring that home or into fun times with friends.

I feel ya on this front. At work I'm a problem solver, and at home I tend to apply those same skillsets to issues when they pop up, which can be very annoying in my wife's opinion. Not every domestic problem should undergo a SWOT analysis.

Try interrogating people all day as a detective and then not bring those skills home to the wife and stepdaughter. It took me a bit to be able to turn that dial off or at least down.