I have two boys that I’ve raised to teach them everything I know about being a man. One is 12 the other is 15. The little one has more ability than I ever had to be a good mechanic. The oldest has a 100 average in school. Both are decent athletes.
Why are video games so important to the youngest one? I cut off all video games for the youngest two months ago. He’s just now getting around to being himself again. The oldest boy will always be himself no matter what happens. The youngest is addicted to the video games.

They have both had plenty of dicipline, but are the two most opposite brothers in the world. The youngest is a little man that likes to fight and the oldest is a giant that’s laid back and only gets into altercations to help his brother.

I think video games and IPhones are ruining the youth or at least half of them. We will never be the same with the new technology.

If you think it’s ruining the youth why did you ever get them the phones and video games to begin with?

My son has a PlayStation he rarely plays it unless friends are over and wanna play Madden or MLB the Show. We also recently got him a phone since we don’t have a land line in the house. Phone sits on the counter most the time and he really only uses it to talk text his friends about hunting and baseball. He still loves the outdoors and playing sports and also has straight A’s while taking all GT classes.

IMO it’s important to educate kids about technology bc it’s not going anywhere and it can be a great tool. Monitor and limit what they can play and do on their devices. Every kid is different and they all use different outlets to escape reality or to take their minds off whatever is happening in their life. Some kids use video games, some use music, some explore outside.

Also being a good mechanic doesn’t make you a man.

OP

Sounds like you have a couple of good kiddos. I wouldn't worry about the younger one unless he rebels or starts acting weird.

My son and daughter were opposites also. Son loved playing the online war games and we let him roll with it because he was doing good in school, great manners, finished his Eagle Scout.
He turned out pretty good IMO. After high school served in the Navy for six years and now has a great job working for a global company and still has great manners.
He also learned to cuss like a sailor although he has toned that down a whole lot since he got out

Daughter never played video games, to busy studying and working part time jobs, She graduated from college and is doing extremely well in her career also.


BTW having a interest and being a good mechanic is a great life skill especially for a youngster likes yours, it should help him become a better, more mature man as he grows up
How your children turn out in life is greatly influenced by their parents behavior and the people they run around with

Same here it has nothing to do with video games. My kiddos are opposites as well, and the good one played video games for lhours on end killing at least two PS3s back in the day. They are just being kids with their own individual personalities.

To me it seems the video game stuff has actually died down the last 3-5 years, May correlate to Gamestop's business demise the last several years. Cellphone use is too much but like has been said put parameters and talk about it openly. Yes, kids are different than we were but so we were as opposed to our parents. I'm a child of mid-70s to late 80s, MTV and video arcades were a phase we had to live and learn through, VIC Commodore and MAC PCs too. This too will pass.

Since I regularly work with our youngest adults (18-25) from all over the country, and have done so for the last 28 years, here's how I've seen that they're different (in general)...

1. They have almost NO resilience. Tell them no, and their world comes crashing down. They think their life is ruined. A simple "No," can easily turn into a suicidal ideation or attempt.

2. They are MASTER manipulators. If "mom" doesn't give them what they want, they'll go to "dad." (I'm not only talking about parents here.)

3. They think they're peers with everyone, and do not realize how hierarchical the world really is. Everyone is an "online" presence. This is why so many of them have a disturbing time making the transition from kid to adult. They get out into the real world and then realize that they are the low turd on the totem pole... it's crushing for them. I've been in my line of work longer they they've been alive, and 75% of them approach/talk to me like we're drinking buddies.

I think I'm likely preaching to the choir here on THF, but this a product of parenting, or lack thereof (not to mention a crap society today). These days parents are too busy being their kids' BFF instead of their PARENT. Don't get me wrong, there are still LOTS of GREAT kids out there who have been taught to respect, to work hard, and have been made wise in the ways of the world. And of course, being a great parent doesn't guarantee that the kid will go on to be a productive member of our society. It's ultimately up to them. They have to make their own choices.

But too many of our young people have seen nothing but the poorest examples of how to be a real, responsible adult. Parents abusing them or in an abusive relationship, addictions, no morals, etc, etc. Young men and women who've NEVER been taught how to take care of themselves...basic hygiene, how to shave, etc. It's maddening, sickening, and saddening, all at the same time. It's true, there have always been these kinds of parents, kids, and tragic situations... but not in these numbers, and society or friends often used to support these kids in more productive ways, often with real friendship and tough love. Now, they get safe spaces and echo chambers...

I couldn't agree more.
It starts at home.

I work with a kid (is to me, he's just turned 21 and I'm about to turn 61) he stays hooked up behind me and is rare self starter. Have another young person that is 26 and proves white supremacy is a myth...boy is slow or dumb as a fence post! The 21 year old bails off into what ever we drag in shop and we clean and tear it down and looks at next step in project to stay ahead and have progress. When not at shop he has side hustles washing cars, swapping or repairing vehicles- mechanical minded person- and takes instruction well and retains it. The 26 year old has some skills but beats his chest about them and have to force him to stay on task, always hiding and on phone worried about his stock portfolio which ain't that impressive. There is some hope in future generations but some of the future is sad lot!

Soon as you want your little kids to quit being little kids, get them an iPhone.

Phones have turned many kids into sociopaths. I learned that from interrogating them.

I find that it's nearly as big of a problem with adults, especially women. I have friends and relatives that literally can't go anywhere or do anything unless that phone is glued to their side. I was hunting with a fellow the other day and as we walked the fields he would have to stop and text.

If I depended on any device so much I think I'd toss it. (of course he's a working man and I'm a man of leisure, so there is that)
It's sometimes hard to have a conversation with my wife or we'll be watching TV and she will miss part of the story because......she's distracted, playing games on the phone.

It's everywhere.

Phones, apps will just be apart of their lives. I have drilled into them that social media, TV are just like commercials.

Pushing ideology. Oftentimes by the craziest individuals on earth.
Trying to sell you on something.
Lifestyle, acceptance, values.

I hope you teach the little one that fighting doesn't always solve problems but can lead to more issues.

Men are just as distracted with their phones as women, are you typing from one reeltexan?

They bought their own phones and video games. They have a lawn service business. Also being a good mechanic does make you a man. It’s one of the talents given by God and learned by hard work. I’ve never been a great mechanic but my grandfather was. I struggle but can still get sht done. Youngest son can fix things I can’t. That’s not how I make a living.

I’m glad your son is so smart and special in the GT classes. I’ve seen his pics of hunting prowess.I’m impressed! He is the athlete my sons should inspire themselves to be.

I’m just sick and tired of the video games being so important in the kids lives.

Mechanical aptitude will definitely help late in life.

Kids are kids. Their environment has changed from what older generations have been exposed to. The world is much different than it was not that long ago. Behavior is very much what you adapt to. If those slick video games were around when I was a kid, I would probably have played them as well.

Atari, Pong and Activision were cutting edge in their day, lol....

The phones are here to stay, It's just a part of today's youth's culture. Video games are part of it. I think its 2 things:

1. Content looked at on social media and video games played..
2. Knowing right from wrong. This starts with you. I think you are on the correct path.

Just keep talking to them like a man. ask each how the other is doing "socially". Lots you have no control over. We just hope and pray they make good decisions.

I promise you your kids can succeed in anything they pair their minds to. I believe as parents it’s our job to analyze their interest and then help provide the tools for them to succeed.

Their interest may not be the same as yours or what you want them to be. Computers and digital stuff is the future unfortunately so your kids having interest in that stuff can turn out to be a good thing and a path to a successful life and career.

Growing up my brother got cancer at 6 yrs old, my dad was a dead beat drug addict and my mom was an alcoholic with severe depression. I used many thing to escape my reality for short periods of time. Video games was one of them. Now days I have no interest in them but back then they let me forget about how terrible things were for a short time. Maybe your son is using to take his mind off something. Kids these days deal with a lot of crap in school and high expectations from everyone. My suggestion would be to sit down with them and have a discussion.

Video games have been a big thing since the 80s. They were around before that in arcades. Pinball machines have been around forever and are a form of video game.

Most kids go through phases with video games. Some never play, but majority of kids do. Adults play video games. It’s a part of American life at this point. The kids who started playing them in the 80s is in there late 30s or early 40s right now.

I had the Atari 2600 when it first came out...and my parents had Pong. I'm 48, but I thank you for thinking I'm still in my early 40's!!!!!

Video games are just a (relatively) modern form of entertainment. In decades prior parents would get on to kids who just wanted to read all the time.

I have a hard time relating to grown men who are avid video gamers, like I have a hard time relating to grown men who are avid sports fans, but then again I spend thousands of dollars to go isolated areas, endure horrible weather conditions and travel to get a adrenaline high from shooting a four legged animal, so maybe I’m the hard one to relate to?

What about these parents that allow their kids to eat nothing but chicken nuggets and fries?

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