It's funny, but its not.

2:30 this morning the remote alarm panel announces that the gate between the driveway and back yard has been opened. (Not an Alarm Trigger event, just an announcment).

Grab pants, shoes, phone, and the bedside Beretta.
Scan the front porch, then go out the front door.
No vehicles to be seen. No movement...but I hear a truck running somewhere close. WTF?
The driveway gate is closed.
I light up the back yard with the phone app.
As I walk through the gate, I figure out where the "Truck" is. The generator is running and the rest of the neighborhood is without power.
Finish scanning the back yard and the other side of the house. Nothing.

The remote alarm panel in the bedroom has previously said stupid things when the power comes back on. Main panel did not notify that the gate was opened prior to my opening it...I need to get a battery backup for the remote panel.

Get back in bed wondering how the heck enough neurons did not light up to tell me the rest of the neighborhood was dark? There is a street lamp that would have been lighting about half of our back yard. I see three other house from the front door and half a dozen in the back.

A serious failure of situational awareness.

I was a volunteer firefighter and EMT for 20+ years...when woke up in the middle of the night, my mind used to be sharp and ready before my shoes were on. I'm only 60, but this has me worried that its an age thing.

Good test for the generator though.

You did better than most. My wife can never remember where her pistol is.
(It's in a secure place.)

The bigger issue for me is you lit up the back yard with the phone? That puts out enough light to make you a target but not give any information except about 2-5 feet in front of you. Next time use a high power flashlight that will at least give enough light to see and blind someone if you cross their eyes.

I think he meant he turned on lights using an app on his phone.

^^ that makes more sense

Does the OP have any ninja clothing to keep handy?

^^^This
Alarm system app lets me control the outside lights independently or together. I can light up my half-acre back yard, plus most of the neighbor's yard, like a tennis court.

Nope

Slippers and jeans.

Is that app function completely contained within your home network; or is an Internet connection required so the app can report data before functioning?

Ha

The wife has a GP-100 with a laser grip in her nightstand. Biggest handgun in the house.

The lights and locks are Z-wave+ over a local wifi hub, with no internet connectivity needed. Remote arm/disarm of the alarm itself and the garage doors require internet.

Bubba outfit

Even an inexpensive thermal scanner allows one to clear a dark area without making oneself a target.

You were lucky to survive....let this be a lesson.

The front, back and side surveillance cameras with IR illuminators on the house, helmet mounted NV, plus either of the two thermal sights mounted on suppressed rifles would also allow me to to that, but it is not needed, since the back yard floodlights are blinding to anyone in the back yard looking toward the house or driveway.