Cold stone sober. What in my whole wide world is a virtual visit? I only take two prescription drugs. Both are for relief instead of a cure. Celebrex is about due. The bottle has 0 refills on the label. I called Fushear Family Medicine and asked them to call CVS. No can do. I have to take a physical first. Its only a few miles. The PA asked if I could take a virtual physical. I replied no. I went on to tell her about the hippopotamus oath, which started out something like first do no harm. I'll see them tomorrow morning. Help me think up an opening statement besides I'm too old for this.

I'd look the doc in the eye and tell him with a straight face "You swore a hippopotamus oath to help me and I need your help". If that doesn't break the ice I don't know what will.

I'm thinkin he'll chuckle. I did

Me too.

Not sure why anyone would swear at a hippopotamus, didnt even know they were around here.
Maybe he needs to see an eye doctor?

Tell the doc that you rode up there on your swamped gator !
Then tell them you know all about their hippopotamus oats !

Would that Hippopotamus Oath have anything to do with medicine for large women? Or men. What about the Hypotenuse Oath?

And then there’s the oath politicians take, called the Hypocritical Oath.

I was facing the same thing. I just got on the Humana app and ordered refills even though I had none left. They contacted the doc and sent me my refills.

You can’t take the virtual route? What if the PA is ugly Bill? Or a little pudgy? We know how you are about the girls!

Maybe tell them you’ve been to Brazoria County and think you have an amoeba eating your brain.

The doctors have to keep the doors open. From the person answering the phone call to the Rx being filled takes about 20 minutes of person time. If that happens without a visit, it is done for free.

Also, what if the medication needs to be adjusted and the licensed provider does not properly evaluate you?

I once had a good buddy on here named Doctor Therancher. He posted that you should never trust you blood pressure results by a PA. He we on to say that your pressure would be 20 points higher. Called it the white gown syndrome.

He invited me to come down and hunt quail. Mostly blues. I declined. I'm not into meat hunting. I'm more into walking into and out of a beautiful painting all day long.

Why the funny? This is a serious question.

Cold stone sober? Is that a flavor of ice cream?

So... exactly how do they expect you to do a prostate exam in a virtual visit?


On second thought, I don't want to know the answer to that.

Where’s ol’ buckaroo when you need him...

How about this...

“Nobody piss me off and we will all get out of here alive!!”

Or

Just answer every question with “Bite Me!!”

When you get older, prostate exams are not really necessary unless you think you need one. Prostate cancer is so slow that if Olds get it, it won’t kill them.

I get all these drugs free. They have sex drugs on there. Wonder how you prove you need them.

Bill, you're widowed, single and a senior citizen. I'm getting this image of you bored out of your mind, on the internet, with sex drugs at your disposal.

You're playing with fire...

He's implying he doesn't need them. 'Gotta read between the lines with this one.

Why do you need lead in your pencil when you have no one to writ?

I acquiesce to your wisdom here, in this one, very specific, instance.

He may need an adjustment to his meds, but how would a virtual physical show that? Couldn’t the doctor have just picked up the phone and asked the two or three questions about his meds and submitted the script? He’s not taking a blood test virtually.

They make a special webcam for that

sucks getting old especially when you have these medical scamers looking to take all you got.