Forums46
Topics538,020
Posts9,731,894
Members87,055
|
Most Online25,604 Feb 12th, 2024
|
|
|
Thoughts
#7724708
01/22/20 12:50 AM
|
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416
bill oxner
OP
THF Celebrity
|
OP
THF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416 |
-------I CAN RELATE TO A LOT OF THESE When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.
When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
Interviewer: “So, tell me about yourself.”
Me: “I’d rather not. I kinda want this job.”
Cop: “Please step out of the car”
Me: “I’m too drunk. You get in.”
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
I had my patience tested. I’m negative.
Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.
If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say
“Did you bring the money?”
When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 is the new midnight.
I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
I run like the winded.
I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.
When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”
I don’t remember much from last night, but the fact that I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning
tells me it was awesome.
When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”
It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.
Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.
That moment when you walk into a spider web suddenly turns you into a karate master.
Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life outta nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever.
We call those people cops.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.
Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill
|
|
|
Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7724954
01/22/20 10:41 AM
|
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,460
redhaze
Veteran Tracker
|
Veteran Tracker
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,460 |
|
|
|
Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7725741
01/22/20 10:56 PM
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 10,496
Halfadozen
THF Celebrity
|
THF Celebrity
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 10,496 |
Freedom is a fragile thing ...Those who have known freedom, and then lost it, have never known it again. -- Ronald Reagan
|
|
|
Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7725774
01/22/20 11:17 PM
|
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 18,770
HuntingTexas
THF Celebrity
|
THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 18,770 |
" In God We Trust "
|
|
|
Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7725874
01/23/20 12:48 AM
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,987
Michael W.
THF Trophy Hunter
|
THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,987 |
I can relate to a few of those.
A clear conscience is often the sign of a fuzzy memory.
|
|
|
Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7725881
01/23/20 12:55 AM
|
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,177
Bee'z
The Beedazzler
|
The Beedazzler
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,177 |
|
|
|
Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7725884
01/23/20 12:59 AM
|
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 5,561
Slow Drifter
THF Trophy Hunter
|
THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 5,561 |
I thought getting old would take a lot longer than this.
"I have no idea what WW-III will be fought with, but WW-IV will be fought with sticks and stones." A. Einstein
|
|
|
Re: Thoughts
[Re: Slow Drifter]
#7728029
01/25/20 11:37 AM
|
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 22,997
fadetoblack64
giddyup
|
giddyup
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 22,997 |
Nailed it................man that so nailed it.
|
|
|
Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7728652
01/26/20 07:13 AM
|
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 69,206
NORML as can be
^^Cut the Cord^^
|
^^Cut the Cord^^
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 69,206 |
(R-TX) .-- " TCNN CURL CRLB VFF VRNO AYR SNDL CGC TLRY MSOS "
_=====___=________==-
|
|
|
Re: Thoughts
[Re: bill oxner]
#7733430
01/30/20 07:42 PM
|
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 2,482
TSU99
Veteran Tracker
|
Veteran Tracker
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 2,482 |
I can relate to the last one...
|
|
|
Re: Thoughts
[Re: Michael W.]
#7740199
02/07/20 07:09 PM
|
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 7,789
Mr. T.
THF Trophy Hunter
|
THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 7,789 |
I can relate to a few of those. I can relate to 90% of those.........how sad!
Cabin rental in Pagosa Springs, Co. Sleeps 10, If interested please PM me.
|
|
|
Re: Thoughts
[Re: Bee'z]
#7748121
02/17/20 01:32 PM
|
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 43,923
Stub
THF Celebrity
|
THF Celebrity
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 43,923 |
|
|
|
Moderated by bigbob_ftw, CCBIRDDOGMAN, Chickenman, Derek, DeRico, Duck_Hunter, hetman, jeh7mmmag, JustWingem, kmon11, kry226, kwrhuntinglab, Payne, pertnear, rifleman, sig226fan (Rguns.com), Superduty, TreeBass, txcornhusker
|