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Archery lesson #765452 06/18/09 03:17 PM
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kaptinkrunch1 Offline OP
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Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little bad-arse long bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40-horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down? Tough SOB.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place.

Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasn't any fire danger. Ill put it this way- a set of post hole diggers and a 3 ft. hole and you had yourself a well.

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner...

Let's face it to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of dads muzzle loader Pyrodex . At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie... 1 lb Pyrodex and 16 oz. ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker, you know? You know what? Heck with that. I'm going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of Pyrodex and dumped it too.

Now we're cookin'. I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and let fly. As I released I heard a swish as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH ****, he just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a wt* look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of Pyrodex and into the can. Oh... Hell.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 MF'n decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you, there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 foot above the ground as far as I could see.

It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FREAKIN DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE.

There was a big sweet-gum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That mother got up and ran off. So here I am, on the ground, blown completely out of my shoes with my Thundercats T-shirt shredded... My dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE GOLL DAMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know- I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. Then I felt another sharp pain, blacked out, woke later...... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some more.

Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks, Mom...

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been griping about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle-loaders a week or so later. And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the beating. Or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

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Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Re: Archery lesson [Re: kaptinkrunch1] #765453 06/18/09 03:39 PM
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d.g.ruff Offline
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LMAO!!! That is one HECK of a story, sir



Mmmm Hmmm
Re: Archery lesson [Re: d.g.ruff] #765454 06/18/09 04:56 PM
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kaptinkrunch1 Offline OP
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Yes I saw it on another site and thought it really needed to be seen here as well



Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Re: Archery lesson [Re: kaptinkrunch1] #765455 06/18/09 08:26 PM
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308hunter Offline
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Does any one else ever look back at there life and shudder at the things you did that should have killed you but didnt.



If you can legitimatly say that Guns kill people then I can legitimatly blame misspelled words on my pencil...

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Re: Archery lesson [Re: 308hunter] #765456 06/18/09 09:19 PM
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rifleman Offline
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yep. Someone has really been lookin' after me through my short existence.


Re: Archery lesson [Re: rifleman] #765457 06/18/09 09:31 PM
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father of 4 Offline
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lol That was great and I have a little explosion story that wound up getting my butt beat as well lol


Re: Archery lesson [Re: father of 4] #765458 06/18/09 10:23 PM
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Berretta man Offline
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I used to have the go 'boom' gene too. We had a pool when I was young. Chlorine is some bad stuff when mixed with almost anything.


Re: Archery lesson [Re: Berretta man] #765459 06/19/09 01:11 AM
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Rhodes 520 Offline
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Thats a great story. Reminds me of when I was a kid doing some stupid chit like that.



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Re: Archery lesson [Re: kaptinkrunch1] #765460 06/19/09 04:14 AM
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dgilbert Offline
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Quote:

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.




Amen brother, thanks for sharing.


Re: Archery lesson [Re: dgilbert] #765461 06/19/09 04:31 AM
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kkbud Offline
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So kapt, what do you do for a living, demolishion?

Yes, sir, good story. LOL


Re: Archery lesson [Re: kkbud] #765462 06/19/09 08:24 AM
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cable Offline
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Now that sir, is a well told story Had me laughing the whole time.


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