As LarryC said, fine to be a sounding board and good listener, but avoid giving advice or suggestions.

Many years ago a friend of mine got engaged to a girl we all knew. I came out of bedroom at my house one morning to see her coming out of my roommates bedroom (not her fiance), less than a month before the planned nuptials. I was no saint, but did think the fiance needed to know, and told my roommate, "sorry, and I won't give up who, but I am going to tell the other guy to be WARY." Roommate agreed it should probably happen. but he and I were never the same - him mad that I confronted him, and me mad that he would do that to a friend.

Long story, but I told her fiance that I knew she was sleeping around. He did not believe me, ended our friendship, and married her anyway. Along the way he told many of our mutual friends that I was spreading lies because I wanted her for myself. Nope. Anyway, they were married for less than a year, she cheated on him repeatedly and left him for another dude. I learned there and then, love is blind, and from then on I have kept my opinions to myself when it comes to other's relationships.

If you got to work at a relationship then you got the wrong girl.guy.

That’s one of those ideologies that doesent hold water real life

Does in mine.

So you just do whatever the hell you want all the time what you want when you want and she is cool with it?

Yep. A few on here will vouch for that too. No arguements in 20 years.

My Wife is cool with it, but I am a Alpha Male and call all the shots in the marriage.

I dont call any shots. We just click together .

My first marriage was a trainwreck

Is your wife from America or the Philippines?

Wife and I get along pretty well but I definitely cant say that we have been 20 years without a cross word.

Thanks for the so called non-criticism.

The discussion is over when posters start stating that alcoholism/sexaholism etc are not diseases. Sure is nice to see how many here don't give a flying f$%k about those who are trying to overcome their problems. Since I have been on my journey I have encountered many like them, most who emphatically label themselves as Christians, followers of Christ.

I'm not trying to prove a ngative, and I really don't see your claim. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I have not lost anything. I have gained it all back.

Unless you are in a twelve step program you will never understand, neither will the "christians" I referred to.[/quote]


Proving a negative is stating something as fact that cannot be proven.

You saying you know more about “real” than someone else or anyone is something you cannot prove. It’s your opinion, and that’s fine, but it is not FACT.

You certainly do not have to prove a thing. But that’s only good and works for you. Does not make it a FACT.

Unless you are in a 12 step program, you will never understand”. Again, ya can’t prove it. You can believe it for yourself, but to state as fact for others just ain’t so.

Ok. its all good.

Very glad you are getting/gained everything back. Best of luck with that.

Does in mine too. Not saying everything is perfect all the time, but it’s pretty darn close. We are best friends and treat each other that way. A couple of minor tiffs but no major arguments in 30 plus years.

We hear all this stuff about how marriage is hard work, “how-tos” for a successful marriage, etc. - and we honestly can’t relate.

I know that’s rare and thank God for her every day.

Easy to call the shots when you are holding their visa...

I knew this was gonna turn ugly.

If you have to announce you're an "alpha male", you ain't one.

Lmao!!! I didn’t say it.

I think if you constantly have to work at it; it’s true.

When you have two people that aren’t clones you’re going to have to work through things occasionally. I have a great marriage and even we get into it once in a blue moon.

Don't know how many times I've told my wife of 37+ years that I don't see why some people can't find it so easy to make a marriage work. Before I met my wife, it was never a problem recognizing the women to leave alone. No matter how hot they might appear, it took less than five minutes of small talk to make that decision.

Women on the other hand will give a guy a little longer before they write him off. That's not to say they won't make quick decisions when they recognize something immediately that turns them off. It's more like they'll give a guy more time if he shows promise, even when he's not the best looking guy in the room. Don't know how many women I've heard say they were not that impressed with their husband with they first met him. My wife says that I "grew on her". We're both convinced the roots grow much deeper that way.

I agree with all that. High maintenance ones are not hard to spot.

Most women tend to think they can change a man, while most men think that their woman will never change. Both end up causing lots of problems.

That needs to be on a t-shirt or a bumper sticker and a chapter in sex ed taught in school.

I agree women are both more discerning and more patient with men also.

To say I was no prize as a young man is an understatement, but my wife saw potential I didn’t really even see in myself.