So someone recently posted a church joke, reminded me of a couple.

So this preacher had just died and was standing in line waiting to get into heaven.
To pass the time he began chatting with the man in front of him. That is where he found out he was a bus driver.

Finally they get to the front of the line and St. Peter reads his notes on the bus driver and says
"Bus Driver, do you see that mansion there on that hilltop that is where you will reside for the rest of your eternity!"

So the bus driver jumps with joy and starts running to his new residence.
Excited at what the bus driver got the preacher prepares for his entrance into heaven.

St. peter starts reading over the preachers list and when he comes to his conclusion he says
"Preacher, Do you see that shack? just under the mansion I just sent the bus driver to, that shall be yours for the rest of eternity, Welcome!"

The preacher doesn't understand and he asks how a man who has devoted his life to serving god could live in the shack sat in the shadow of a bus drivers mansion.

St peter said "Well the whole time you were preaching your congregation was sleeping, the whole time the bus driver was driving, people were praying"

So this old and feeble man was standing at the gates of heaven while St. peter was looking over his life deciding if he should let him in.

He wasn't convinced so he allowed the man to speak on his own behalf saying "Why should you be granted entrance into the kingdom of god? Has there every been a time that you have stood up for whats right, gone above and beyond for someone besides yourself?"

The old man said "Well there was this one time. I saw an old lady being harassed by a gang of bikers and I said "YOU WILL LEAVE THAT WOMAN ALONE!""

Peter skeptically said "So, you told a gang of bikers to leave this old woman alone without help from anyone else?" He begins to look over his notes again
Peter then asks "When do you stand up to this gang of bikers?"

The old man said "Well I'd say it was about 5 minutes ago..."

So there were two men that were friends on earth Johnny And Billy

Johnny liked to run around on his wife and have a good time

Billy not so much.

Years later they are both in heaven and as it turns out. The vehicle you drive in heaven depends on how faithful you were to your wife. That way everyone knows the type of man you were on earth.

Billy, the faithful man, comes pulling up to his friend in a brand new corvette where he finds his less faithful friend Johnny sitting on his skateboard crying

Billy said "Johnny why are you so sad? You had a good time on earth and a skateboard isn't that bad."

Johnny said "It's not that I only have a skateboard But I just ran into my wife and she was barefoot."

Now that last one is funny, I almost slobbered on the keyboard from laughing out loud....

One out of three I'll take it