I was looking at getting my wife a 380 to keep in her car. I have looked into the Taurus and KelTecs and really like them not having a safety. Heaven forbid, if she did have to use it I don't want her fumbling around looking for a safety. Point and click. She has shot a LCP and had trouble with the slide(couldn't grip it and get it all the back sometimes), im just wondering since this was a new gun if it was just stiff and would loosen up with break in or if it would always have that much tension? would a hammerless wheel gun be better suited? Any suggestions on models?

Sig P-238

Bought it for myself, ended up giving it to the GF. Easy to handle/shoot, only drawback for you is it's carried cocked and locked (its a mini-1911). Practice makes Permanent!

My wife has the LCP; she couldn't rack the slide is she held it out with one hand and pulled back with the other. Instead I showed her how to rack it easier by pushing both hand together close to the body. Much easier for most women since it uses more muscles

Glock 42.

Half the muscle needed to rack the slide compared to the Taurus, Keltec, and LCP's...
Great shooting little gun which will also have less perceived recoil than the ones mentioned above...

Get her a revolver. S&W Airwight but add hogue grips. The standard grips can pound the hand a bit.

+1 on the revolver that way she doesn't have to worry about magazine springs.

Another revolver recommendation. Concealed hammer/DAO. Point and shoot. Make it as simple as possible.

I have an LCP that I really love, but I took several females out shooting. They all had trouble racking the slide, and they hated loading magazines on the Ruger LCP and SW MP40. None of them had any problems with the 1911. I think revolvers are better options for gals who don't like fussing with heavy slide and magazine springs.

Taurus TCP

Have two of them. The no safety is a non issue being its DA only trigger, which takes some pull and has lots of creep.

On a 15 yard and under gun that's not an issue.

Take her to a range where they have several different pistols that she can try.

Let her pick what works best for her.

^^^^
This.

She can try out several different models and find one that fits HER hand and that she can handle. Not to mention you won't be having to trade in something that you picked out for HER (figuring you're 90% likely to pick out something she cant use).

Though I like the idea of a revolver. Point and 'click' system.

I'm confused. Everyone keeps saying to get a revolver because it's easier...

How is having a loaded G42, LCP, etc any different than a loaded revolver?
Both you just "point and pull the trigger"... A better/lighter DAO pull on the G42 than any of the shrouded hammer DAO snub nose revolvers...

What if it jams? What if she needs to clear the gun and later reload? If she is going to carry an auto she has to be able to fully manipulate the gun, including working the slide. IMHO. Often a revolver is just easier for those that lack hand strength. Plus in a true self defense situation a long pull is m ot necessarily a bad thing. Again IMHO.

gave my wife a revolver she never likes it so she moved on to a walther 380

Not me.

They are hard to learn to shoot accurately under pressure and even harder to reload under pressure compared to a semi.

Again, let her try things out and she what she likes and shoots well.

Give her a blank check and it will be repaid many times over.

Who knows, the life she saves might be yours.

She might just surprise you.

Bersa Thunder 380.

I think you should look into either a Ruger LCR or a S&W 637 or 642. All three of those are .38spl +p rated and have very smooth double action triggers. The S&W 637 Airweight has an exposed hammer and can be fired single action-but the trigger pull is scary light, so extreme care should be exercised.

The .38 Special and +P are a much better manstopper than the .380, and you have more options for ammo as far as what grain bullet you can find. I like shooting the Remington Gold Saber or Hornady Critical Defense 125gr +P out of my revolver (my primary carry-gun) and my wife likes the new Hornady pink tipped 110gr Lady Defense regular .38spl loads that don't recoil as much. She has the Airweight, and with full power 158gr wadcutter loads she almost quit shooting. With a .380 I think the bullet weights are either 85gr or 95gr last I checked. If I had to use a .380, based on everything I've seen and read, Critical Defense is what I'd load it with for protection.

As far as semi-auto .380's go, I think the Glock 42 is the way to go.

If this is for a car I would go with a mid size glock or xd. Or maybe a Xds or shield in 9mm.
She will like it better

Good options to consider...

Sig P-238
Glock 42
S&W Bodyguard

^
This. Until she is 110% completely comfortable with a pistol/revolver, that SHE wants, don't buy her anything.

Since this will be staying in her vehicle, don't forget the handcuff's. Run one end thru the trigger guard, and the other where the seat frame is bolted to the floor. Will make it a helluva lot harder to steal, when the car is unattended.

After some thinking and looking around, I'm not against the 380 but the ammo selection and availability isn't the greatest. and as was previously stated this gun will stay in her car, not a carry gun, so a little bit bigger frame 9mm may serve her better. im leaning towards the XDS 9mm anyone have any real world experience with this gun?

Skip the XDS and get a Khar CW9. No safeties, a good trigger, and not much bigger than the Glock 42...

Then you're back to the slide that's hard to rack. I love my S&W M&P shield but it's also tough for the GF to rack so she has the P238.

The slide is not especially stiff on the Khar, but I know what you're saying...
Any small 9mm will have a stiffer slide than a comparable .380...

Best bet is to take her to Academy or similar, and let her handle and manipulate the slides on several different models as suggested above.

Kahr P380.