1. Add two tablespoons of cheap shampoo to the water in the toilet bowl, and put both lids up.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe it gently as you carry it to the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to sit on the closed lid.)

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. (Disregard the noise - the cat is likely enjoying this and cannot harm the toilet.)

5. Flush the toilet at least three times. (Less than three flushes will not provide an adequate power wash and rinse.)

6. Open all doors leading to the outside of the house, and assure there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as possible and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will exit the toilet without assistance and dry itself outside.

9. You now have a sparkling clean commode with the bonus of a very clean cat.

NOTE: Many practicioners of this method report that it's necessary to use a different cat for each cleaning, but have not reported why that may be.

I would be standing on the lids. Most cats I have seen can get one paw out and get ya'.



The other problem is that any cat in my house would not be able to do this. All cats who make it into my house die of acute lead poisoning.

I hate cleaning toilets

I don't clean cats

Tough crowd tonight

A better title might be easiest way to clean a cat..

A better title might be easiest way to clean a cat..

A instructional video would be excellent on this post.