I have a hunting ranch in south texas under high fence with MLD permit. I had a hunter from North Texas named Clint that came to hunt a managemant deer 130"-140". This guy shows up....smells like he hasn't bathed in days. We shoot in his rifle and he's not bad...2" group.
We go to the blind and he's still stinkin by the way and just about dark a nice 10pt comes in...He gets all excited strarts shaking and expelling gas like nobody I have ever heard. He shoots at the deer and knocks a limb down about 4 feet over the top of the deer. The deer runs off and he continues to prune trees with 3 more shots. He states he must have bumped his scope. We go back to camp eat a good dinner....while he is still fogging the room I might add..I show him the shower and leave. Next morning I pick him...he still has not showered. We go out to another blind....We get into the blind and he starts lettin some gut curling gas like I have never smelt...Worse than a gut shot deer...so alittle while later another real nice mgmt deer comes in and he goes through the same fartin shakin routine and begins prunin trees again...he shoots 3 more times and looks at me and states...I dont have anymore shells....He only brought 7 shells...Needless to say he didnt get a deer and stunk as he drove out my gate.

that sounds like bad times!

Wow, I hope he tipped well

This has to be the makings of the 2nd best THF posting of all time (after the Tatonka posting!)...

I mean what's wrong with this story?

1. A guy that hasn't bathed in days
2. He get's the shakes at shooting time
3. He let's out potent farts as he's shooting
4. He shoots at Trophy bucks twice and prunes trees
5. The guide has to share a blind with the stinky spaz with bad farts!

LMFAO!

is this a true story?

Ouch. If I did not know better I would say "I know this guy"! That was a great post, you should write in every week with a new guide story.

100% true.....and he was a no tipping ikky bikky

I'm planning on writing a book when I retire......which will be very soon if I keep getting hunter's like Clint

Do you have any potos of the deer he was shooting at? Or any of him??

Thats gotta be one of the funniest stories I've ever heard. How much did it cost him to fowl up your lodge??

how much for a 130 to 140 mang deer
i dont stink and dont fart till after i shoot.

Now thats a great story

Holy Moses, now that is a fantastic trip!

I surely hope he paid the full fee for a management hunt. I know you damn sure deserved to collect that check putting up with that kind of crap!

I've never had one that bad but I've had a few that could hit a bull in the A$$ with a load of buckshot from 20'!

I bet it didnt smell as bad as the bottle of coon piss I spilled in my box stand last week!!

PEWWWWWW WEEEEEEEE DAM THAT STUFF WAS BAD!!!

GREAT STORY!!!

I had a chain smoker on a 5 day hunt. Smoked in 3 blinds before my guide told me. We put him in a high rack with the wind in our face on a corn fed Sendero. Buck down deal done he went home after we talked about smoking in blinds. We went to the blinds he hunted the three previous days. I made him pick up all the cig. butts. 109 butts in 3 days.

That story STINKS! lol

Thanks for the laugh this morning, I'll be laughing about that story most of the day!!

I'm sorry it will not happen again

I'll post more as I can. I have some real doosies I can tell.

I had a hunter who happened to be an Enron Exec, the season before they all got hammered, have a heck of a weekend. I had a deer on film, a huge six point, total freak about 25" wide with brow tines and about 16" G2's. Coolest deer I've seen. Ol' boy decides this is the one he wants to shoot. He plugs him with a .300 win mag. He's in the stand by himself, I'm watching from a hilltop about a mile away through my spotting scope. I see the deer jump and dive off in a canyon then hear the shot. I go pick him up and trail the deer literally nearly a mile and a half, finding a dime sized spot of blood 4 times over the entire distance. To review .300 win mag, bleeding deer, mile and a half, coolest deer ever, never found. Here's where it get's good. On the way back to camp in an open top land cruiser windshield down, he shoots a doe that's crossing the road, she jumps and runs I look over at him only he's not there. I lean over and he's on the ground. He fell smooth out the truck. It was only after I jumped around and ran around to the other side that I saw that he hadn't just fallen out...he flopped out...like a fish. He was having a seizure. I held his head to keep him from banging it around on the rocks. The seizure passed, he caught his breath jumped back in the truck and said, "did I hit her?" I was speechless...he acted like it never happened. We could not convince him to go to the hospital, although the closest one was nearly 100 miles away. He did hang out at the house the rest of the week though.

That's hilarious, though I'm not sure it should be??

WAS THIS A PAYING CUSTOMER? OR WAS IT A FRIEND? IF IT'S A CUSTOMER YOU TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS STINKY ARSE A SHOWER. IF IT'S A FRIEND YOU TELL HIM TO TAKE TAKE HIS STINKY ARSE A SHOWER