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Halloween Sex
#4606248
09/27/13 02:57 AM
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,468
texasag93
OP
THF Celebrity
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OP
THF Celebrity
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,468 |
Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous. Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the Gwinntt County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop. 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around', he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached the side of his car.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.'
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence...'I said: 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said: 'A pumpkin? [censored] ... is it midnight already?' The court (and the judge) could not contain their mirth.
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Re: Halloween Sex
[Re: txshntr]
#4608236
09/27/13 08:06 PM
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,273
blackcoal
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 9,273 |
LMAO. At least the gal had the decency to turn into a pumpkin. Lawrence didn't have to chew his arm off. 
The Greatest Enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.--Stephen Hawking
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Re: Halloween Sex
[Re: blackcoal]
#4609140
09/28/13 02:36 AM
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 960
Gary Olson
Tracker
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Tracker
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 960 |
But did he lose any seed from the pumpkin?
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Re: Halloween Sex
[Re: Gary Olson]
#4614598
09/30/13 04:01 AM
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,380
redfred
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 1,380 |
Alcohol,Tobacco, and Firearms. Should not be a government bureau. Should be a department store.
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