Some wouldn't count this as warranted to be in the disabled section, but considering that it is only as bad as it is due to being coupled with the anxiety from my PTSD and the like I figured it was ok, plus y'all guys are more receptive to things I have to say vs. some of the other people on this site. I've been finding myself with a lot of anxiety which is quite normal for me, everything makes me anxious, I don't make phone calls to people I don't know well, I don't like to talk to strangers so my wife does most of that. Now as bow season approaches I feel anxious and rushed, it's getting to the point where it makes me sick to my stomach and its over random things. I have had my bow for a month and haven't found a place where my wife and I can sight in our bows at 30 or 40 yards. We have both destroyed an arrow a piece and it makes me sick to look at them. I find it hard to function because things are going to happen but when they do it gets to me so bad it makes my skin crawl, I feel that way a bit right now because I feel like I'm whining and should just suck it up and deal with it, but this is my only outlet and y'all are decent enough to put up with me, I am not looking for sympathy or anything, just wanna get stuff off my chest. Anyway, due to some miscalculation on my part we didn't have as much cash left over as I thought so things didn't work out quite right which makes me regret trying to bow hunt. And all these things are normal, that's just the way things work out. Then I start to think what if I shouldn't be bow hunting, what if I do it wrong and wound an animal and not kill it. What I want you guys to understand that while most of these thing are rational, and I am aware when my anxiety starts to get out of hand I can talk myself down all day and rationalize with myself, but with someone with severe anxiety coupled with PTSD these little things can and do become gut wrenching fears. It has taken me over a week to write this post, I have written and erased it half a dozen times for fear of what my peers might think, I don't care what most people think but what the small group I consider my peers think means quite a lot, it is taking all I have to publish this, so it may get deleted. I have tried the pills and I can't take them, they do strange things. I feel like I am getting worse and my va therapist only wants to push pills. I remember what it was like to be normal, irrational fear has only controlled me for 5 years or so, that is might ultimate aspiration in life, my absolute dream is to have a small couple acre ranch, 2 cars, another kid, a few horses and my own glass blowing shop. A modest dream, but above all I want to be normal again. I know this has been an odd, kinda rambling post. Thanks for reading if you made it all the way through it.

You're good bro. And daw-gonnit, I am stupid! For some reason I thought Garland was around Houston... I was in your area 2 weeks ago, if I would have known I would have tried and meet up with yall.

Should know in a couple days regarding a hunt. Will need to know any accomodations that need to be made as far as how you want to hunt. My current setups are all elevated boxes overlooking corn and free choice protein. We can set up for bow hunts, but it's allot more challenging in the flats out here in west texas.

Lodging is absolutely no problem. Our lodge is 5-star quality, 12 bedroom, 13 bath, so we definitely have the room!

I don't want to get your hopes up, but this is pretty much a done deal bro!

Ranch owner approached me yesterday (my birthday) asking what I wanted this year. Told them to give me this hunt for ya, said it shouldn't be a problem.

Give me a weekend you have and we'll see what I can do. I highly suggest after thanksgiving, as the bucks respond real well to rattling on this ranch during rut!

Hate to get you more stressed but... disregard the date! This is a recent picture from one of the set-up's protein feeders...


Sorry my ugly mug spoils this one...

Helluva thing to do Csd!

thank you for helping our great veterans.

Csddarden you are a great individual, there are not too many people out there that would try and do something like that for someone like me. Thank you.

To the OP I feel your pain sir. I sort of run through the same emotions and attacks myself. Don't do well around others and honestly don't try to avoid people. It will ge better sir I promise hang in there and congrats on the help, I'm still over here searching for a hunt sir.

I live in north fort worth area, I have a large yard as long as you bring your targets and hay bails your more than welcome to come. I'm an at home dad that suffers from ptsd as well, so my wife and doctors say. Like I said, come hang out and we can talk about all the sh@! That makes us lose it. Don't be afraid to pm me.

Csd, you are the MAN!

Na, and honestly, I feel bad for not getting back to him before now, just been swamped trying to get my Spade lease running and getting everything gathered together for one of the ranch owners' wedding the 19th of this month.
(for which MikeC on the forum made me some awesome wedding knives, they are in the photo section).

Initially, I was just ordered paracord stuff from ol RoadBlock. I got a med kit and a survival kit from him and then decided to have him make me a single-point sling for my Spikes AR. I measured wrong or something and it is way too long. RoadBlock offered to fix it if I sent it back... But I figured it would just be easier to bring him to me, have him alter my sling, plus take him and his wife on a weekend hunt. I live for taking other into the outdoors. Get a much larger rush than simply hunting myself.

The family I hunt with, and the owners of this ranch, are, to put it modestly, givers. I owe much of the person I am to them. Not going to put their family name on here or anything or link to hunting and charity articles, but RoadBlock has this information and knows where this is coming from.

Thanks CSD, and y'all have a great hunt!

Don't down play yourself, you are a living angel in my opinion. I've never met someone so generous to a simple good ole boy that just did a small job in a foreign country and managed to get hurt a bit. I will be forever grateful to you and everyone involved here. Don't be feelin bad about just now getting back to me, for an opportunity like what you are giving me I'll wait a heck of a lot longer without complaint.

Bless ya - CSD!

CSD your a good man and I hope y'all do great!

Roadblock,

I feel for you.
I was reading what you wrote and thought I would chip in a word of encouragement. You will get better, I did as I had a similar experience as you.

I have never had PTSD but I do remember well the time in my life when I suffered from chronic anxiety attacks just like you seem to be talking about.

I have sent you a pm

I am INSANELY excited about this. Next weekend, I finally get to meet Mr. Queen (RoadBlock), his wife, and their 3 doggies.

I've wanted to get into these type of hunts for years. I ALMOST got to do Hunt with Heroes last year... pretty glad I missed out on that one, since the entire parade of heroes was hit by a train and many wounded warriors, and volunteers, were lost.

Same organization did the same thing this year and it went off without a hitch though.

We have a certain 10 point main frame with forked g2's that will be RoadBlock's primary target. Plenty of other bucks out there though, and allot of culls to shoot. Should be a great hunt. He almost wasn't going to be able to make it, but we ironed it all out.

See ya next Friday Ray! I already got permission to get off that day as soon as you call and tell me ur 45 minutes from Stanton, TX. See ya at Stripes!

Sounds like its going to be a great hunt !

Hey brother. You are not alone. All the VA does with me is try to push pills too. But when I moved to buda near austin and transfered to the Austin va they assigned me a social worker also that helps me with the VA and anything really. I see him at a minimum every 2 weeks and just being able to call and talk to him whenever and knowing I'm gonna have my appts with him has helped me a ton. Maybe try to see if you can get an assigned social worker and see if he can help. He can get stuff outside the VA as well.

I'm sure you're already on the road and wont see this, but I get outa work in 10 minutes. Gonna go run by Larry's Specialty Meats for some badass steaks and picking up my buck from earlier this year at the processor.

We're gonna eat like kings and go on a killing spree, lol.

Every 8 we see MUST be dropped, in addition to our target buck. Last hunt on this ranch for the year, and only the 3rd hunt total, so we're gonna be hunting hard this weekend... may even have some time for some quackers and crane, we shall see....

Sounds like a blast yall have fun and post some pics of the good time.

He just slammed a nice 9. 8 with split brows.

That's awesome. Hope he is having a blast.

All ups then all downs. I know the buxk was hit good, he carried his right front off with him, but only one softball size bloodspot. Backed ouyt and called in "NLAY" from the forum and his and Bliss' awesome blue lacys, but pretty sure yotes jumped the buck after he had plugged.

...However, he had another 9 down within half an hour this morning, dead and in site. Buck never took a step.

That sucks about the 1st one but good job on both.

Probably the most memorable hunting experince I've ever had. I got maybe 6 hours of sleep all weekend, no shower and dozens of memories. From eating the biggest pork chops I've ever seen at midnight to the sourness of losung that split brow tine buck (he was heavy horned with a ton of character) and scouring the area and chasing blood dogs around. But when that 9 stepped up this morning I was able to stay cool and calm. The weapon I chose to uss had a 50mm scope that absorbs a ton of light and because of glare I couldn't see him in my scope. Csd offered up his 25-06 and I backed the power down, got a clear line of sight and the deer was quartering away from me, I put that bullet through his lungs and it buried in his opposite shoulder and he dropped right under the feeder. The proudest moment of my hunting experience. Thank you csd and buffalo springs ranch. God bless you all.

Congratz on a good hunt!