Forums46
Topics538,021
Posts9,731,906
Members87,055
|
Most Online25,604 Feb 12th, 2024
|
|
|
Texan in hell
#4084374
02/26/13 05:03 PM
|
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 627
smh264
OP
Tracker
|
OP
Tracker
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 627 |
A Texan in Hell
Day 1 - Per his daily ritual, Satan walks through his domain to see that everyone is sufficiently miserable. As usual, he pauses to take special pleasure in the pain and agony displayed by the new arrivals. However, on this particular day he spots a lanky Texan smiling and looking like he's at a picnic.
"Hey you!", Satan yells, "The temperature in here is a constant 95 degrees and the humidity is 90%! You're supposed to be miserable!"
Quips the Texan, "Maybe so, but it feels just like Houston in June to me. I had a lot of fun on those hot summer nights at Gilley's."
Miffed, Satan, decides to adjust the temperature up to 100 degrees and the humidity to 95%.
Day 2 - On his daily stroll, Satan notices everyone appears exceptionally miserable today. He then remembers the smiling Texan and decides to see how he's faring today. To his surprise, the Texan has unbuttoned a couple of buttons on his shirt, but he still looks happy and carefree.
Satan cries out, "Hey Tex, what are you smiling at now?".
The Texan replies, "Well this reminds me of those Willie Nelson 4th of July picnics. Boy those were some great parties."
This really irritated Satan, who immediately turned the temperature to 110 and the humidity to 100%.
Day 3 - Satan dispenses with his daily stroll and goes straight to the region of hell where he would locate the Texan. Sure enough, he finds the Texan, shirt-off, with a huge grin on his face.
"Okay, so what is it this time?" Satan asks.
"Well, it's just like Dallas in August. Man we had some great times watching the Cowboys play on a Sunday afternoons."
Totally irate, Satan determines to put an end to this charade. He sets the temperature down to zero degrees and whips up a 20 mile per hour wind.
Later that day, Satan can wait no longer and decides to check back on the fool hardy Texan. He finds him huddled and shivering...lips blue, arms folded, snow in his hair and icicles hanging from his mustache. But bigger than Dallas, there he was laughing out loud and wearing a huge smile.
"I GIVE UP!" declared Satan. "What in blue blazes could you find to be happy about now?"
The Texan replied, "Well, this can only mean one thing...The Aggies have finally won a National Football Championship!"
Lifetime NRA Member, GPAA member Ex Law Enforcement/Police Firearms Instructor
|
|
|
Re: Texan in hell
[Re: smh264]
#4084391
02/26/13 05:13 PM
|
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 46,950
Gravytrain
THF Celebrity
|
THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 46,950 |
That's a long way for an Aggies joke!
Upon us all, upon us all, a little rain must fall
|
|
|
Re: Texan in hell
[Re: Gravytrain]
#4084441
02/26/13 05:38 PM
|
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 13,530
Hunt n Fish
THF Celebrity
|
THF Celebrity
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 13,530 |
Aggies got to read it REAL slow!
HnF
"Prayer is when you talk to the Lord, Meditation is when you listen to what he says"
|
|
|
Re: Texan in hell
[Re: Hunt n Fish]
#4084858
02/26/13 08:29 PM
|
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 29,132
TXHOGSLAYER
THF Celebrity
|
THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 29,132 |
Aggies got to read it REAL slow! HAHAHAHAHA!!
LETS GO BRANDON
|
|
|
Re: Texan in hell
[Re: BPence]
#4088036
02/28/13 01:01 AM
|
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 149
Ratherbefishing
Woodsman
|
Woodsman
Joined: Sep 2012
Posts: 149 |
Please re-type the joke below this post so I can read it again....
|
|
|
Re: Texan in hell
[Re: Ratherbefishing]
#4088518
02/28/13 03:49 AM
|
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 960
Gary Olson
Tracker
|
Tracker
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 960 |
I thought the punch line was "Now I am sure Hell is in Amarillo"!
|
|
|
Re: Texan in hell
[Re: Gary Olson]
#4091197
03/01/13 03:43 AM
|
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 618
Oxxon
Tracker
|
Tracker
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 618 |
|
|
|
Re: Texan in hell
[Re: Oxxon]
#4097896
03/04/13 09:25 AM
|
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 296
Jon B
Bird Dog
|
Bird Dog
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 296 |
I wish stupidity was not so handsomly rewarded.
|
|
|
Moderated by bigbob_ftw, CCBIRDDOGMAN, Chickenman, Derek, DeRico, Duck_Hunter, hetman, jeh7mmmag, JustWingem, kmon11, kry226, kwrhuntinglab, Payne, pertnear, rifleman, sig226fan (Rguns.com), Superduty, TreeBass, txcornhusker
|