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Feb 7th, 2025
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 That's when the fight started
#2126955
02/18/11 07:54 AM
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 149
Panhandler
OP
Woodsman
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OP
Woodsman
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 149 |
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And that's when the fight started
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My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes.." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started ...
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said... So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started....
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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage...
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' And that's when the fight started....
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A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy Crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?' And that's when the fight started.....
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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Molson Canadian for $24.95. Instead, she bought a jar of face cream for $17.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the face cream... And that's when the fight started.....
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A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And that's when the fight started....
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself..." And that's when the fight started....
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since..' 'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And that's when the fight started....
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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for my SIN The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.' And that's when the fight started.......
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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station..
And that's when the fight started.....
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.I bought her a bathroom scale.
And that's when the fight started....
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One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's when the fight started...
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 Re: That's when the fight started
[Re: Panhandler]
#2127332
02/18/11 03:16 PM
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 24,245
TreeBass
Old Weller
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Old Weller
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 24,245 |
![[Linked Image]](https://texashuntingforum.com/forum/pics/userpics/2022/03/full-3050-341110-boat_sig_2022.png)
My success in life is measured by the number of hunting
and fishing stories that my kids can share with others...Like the THF on Facebook - www.facebook.com/texashuntingforum
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Re: That's when the fight started
[Re: TreeBass]
#2127464
02/18/11 04:17 PM
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 171
Preacher Ed
Woodsman
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Woodsman
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 171 |
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Re: That's when the fight started
[Re: Preacher Ed]
#2127608
02/18/11 05:22 PM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,184
cowboybam58
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,184 |
Some of those sound like my dad.
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Re: That's when the fight started
[Re: cowboybam58]
#2127620
02/18/11 05:28 PM
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 7,402
TooLow
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 7,402 |
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Re: That's when the fight started
[Re: TooLow]
#2130616
02/20/11 06:09 AM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 314
SWG
Bird Dog
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Bird Dog
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 314 |
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Re: That's when the fight started
[Re: SWG]
#2130621
02/20/11 06:19 AM
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 41,350
BMD
Silver Spoon
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Silver Spoon
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 41,350 |
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Re: That's when the fight started
[Re: BMD]
#2132552
02/21/11 06:02 AM
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 726
suzukiman
Tracker
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Tracker
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 726 |
Hunting- The only true way to relax
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Re: That's when the fight started
[Re: Panhandler]
#2147582
02/27/11 04:34 PM
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Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 772
Big Pa
Tracker
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Tracker
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 772 |
6th generation Texan
All these threats to our way of life> I am starting a new religion. The Temple of the .223
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Re: That's when the fight started
[Re: Big Pa]
#2148266
02/27/11 10:37 PM
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,199
Alpha&Omega
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,199 |
Scito Te Ipsum
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