You got some stones, brother

I was In Botswana in 2004 on a mission trip. I got a chance to hunt, well go with a white Batswana while he hunted, for 5 days. It was one of those deals where we drove down the road and just turned left and the trackers started cutting bush and we drove off into the Kalahari. Anyway, on the third day we accidently stalked into a pride of Lionesses while tracking buffalo. Should have known something was up because the trackers were no longer around, but we were really focused on the buffalo. I didnt know what was going on until the guy hissed LION. Then it was like they seemed to just appear out of the bush even though they were laying ther all along. We had snuck up on them napping and the wind swirled and let them know we were there, thank God. There was growling and jaw popping and you could hear em breathe. I swear i could smell the rotten meat on their breath! I know I saw 3 less than 20 yards from me but the guy swears there were 1/2 dozen. They were near a buff kill and thankfully very full of buffalo meat. We backed out slowly trying to keep tabs on all of them without making any eye contact. By the way, I was only carrying a video camera. We slept in the land rover that night after getting incredibly drunk and moved camp the next morning.

I posted this a week or so ago in another thread

This past december i was deer hunting in a pop up blind bout 300 yard from the Palo Pinto county line in Erath. Does are eating corn in the field when they all spook. The biggest hog i have ever seen comes out and i decide to shoot him. Pop him in the vitals with my 243 and he stumbles, then makes a beline down the fence headed towards me. I shoot again and see the dirt fly about 2 feet in front of him. By this time he is around 20 yards from me. Thats when i decided to abandon ship. Problem with that was i couldnt get the door unzipped. I blow out of the blind but it gets caught on my waist. So there i am draging the pop up around my waist like a damn tutu. The big spotted boar gets litteraly 5 feet from me and i pop him again in the gut. Never found it that day. Few weeks later i see buzzards and go check. I still have the skull from that pig. Tusks are about 3 or so inches on either side. Wish I could have had it on video. Looking back, it sure got the blood pumping, but damn funny now.

In 03 I was in on a deer drive in Arkansas. I was standing in a small gap in a fence line that intersected another fence ( made a four way). I'm watching in front of me in a hay field. A coyote comes out and I pop him. Then I see a deer standing in the fence line that's running down the side of the hay field. He was a nice 8 and I decide to take him. I shoot and hit him Hi in the shoulder. He turned and runs strait for me. I was thinking they were going to come out a lot further out and had my scope turned all the way up. When I looked at him thru the scope coming full speed at 30 yards he looked like a moose. I drilled him square in the chest and he didn't slow down. I was shooting a remington semi auto 30.06. Apparently that little gap I was standing in was his escape route. His rack clipped my leg as I had the rifle pulled back and put 2 more in the top of his back. He slid to a stop 10 yards from me. I had shot him 4 times and he had put a huge bruise on my thigh. That was a little to close. I coon hunt a lot and have a bunch of I could have died stories.

"I coon hunt a lot and have a bunch of I could have died stories."

Don't hold out on us.

I don't remember how long ago it was but I was coon hunting by myself one night and had a shoot out with some idiots. I was hunting on a place I had permission to be on and was hunting off of my four wheeler. I had turned my dog loose and she got treed behind a duck levy in the edge of the woods. I drove to within about 50 yards of her and had been sitting there about five minutes when someone shot at my dog. I could here the bullets cutting the limbs going toward her. I figured some one thought it was by its self and they just decided to shoot her. I yelled at them thinking when they realized someone was there they would quit. WRONG. When they heard where I was they started shooting at me. I dove on the other side of my four wheeler when I realized, hell I got a gun too. I had a browning buck mark that I use to coon hunt with. I emptied the clip thinking that would scare them off. Instead it just let them zero in on me better. They hit my four wheeler 6 times. The first clip I had shot over their heads. The next clip I was aiming for where the shots came from. Two more clips later I heard someone say lets get out of here and they left. I sat behind my four wheeler for a few minutes and went and got my dog. She had stayed treed thru all of that. I got to the house and called the cops the cops came and told me I needed to call the GW. I told him this wasn't a hunting accident and I wasn't calling the GW if they find someone dead in the woods down there then come find me because I did it. I found out later they had busted a couple of different people down there cooking meth.

A couple duck seasons ago I got shot while coming back from a morning of duck hunting over by Hitchcock.

We were taking a canoe along the intercoastal waterway in the fog, and when we went past a blind we knew was there even though it wasn't visible I called out that hunters were coming through to be safe. Well the idiots started shooting at us and me and the friend I was with got hit with pellets on our backs and heads.

I wasn't seriously hurt but was beyond pissed!!! There's no way multiple shots from each gun was an accident. We went around and found their boat. I thought about pushing it out into the bay or cutting the fuel lines. I ended up only getting the license number off the hull. Looking back I wish I would've pushed it in the canal and let it go out to sea since there was no other way to get back to the mainland.

I have a couple:

A friend of mine's dad had a close frind of his hunting on the Glass Ranch in S.Texas. Early one morning the guides drop his friend off at a blind very remote and not far from the Rio river. After he gets his gun loaded and settled in he decides to take a little siesta. After finally dozing off he feels the blind shake. He chalks it up to lack of sleep and goes on about his business. A second later he feels it again. His first thought was that maybe the guide forgot to tell him something or that he forgot something so he called out. Then the blind really started shaking so he thought he would shine his light down the ladder to see what was going on. Well, he gets up, opens the window and shines his flashlight down the ladder to startle the person messing with the blind. As the light worked down the ladder he nearly sh*t his pants when the light hit the face of a full grown, male orangutan. At first, in his half sleep state, he thought it was a joke, but when it started to try and open his door he realized it wasn't. Not knowing what to do he decided to shoot first and ask questions later. So he picked up his rifle, leaned out the window and put a bullet in the ape's head. After he was picked up by the guide and taken back to camp, they called a State game warden to let them know what had happened. When the warden arrived they explained what happened and he informed them that there were some mexican scienctist on their way. Turns out that the ape had escaped from a mexican lab a week or so earlier and hadn't been seen till then. When the guy that shot the ape apologized the people said it was the best thing he could have done, because if he would've made in to the blind with him it would have killed him.

#2:

When I was in high school i use to do a lot of fishing below the lake Granbury dam for striper. At that time you could wade thru the river (some of you know what i am talking about) walk up the rock bank to the main flood gate and fish behind the pillars in the white water. The fishing was unreal good and there were tons of by hybrids for the taking. Anyways, one Saturday morning some buddies and I went to try and load a stringer and have a good day fishing. At that time there were a lot of vietnamese people that liked to fish there and they were notorius for letting there lines get too strung out and messing up everyone's fishing....which happend to me that morning. After cutting my line and re-tying on the bank, i am walking behind to vietnamese boys, probably in their early teens, back towards the water. The only real problem in fishing this spot, besides the swift current, was about a 15' drop off that was about 10' wide. Once you crossed the other side the water was about 3'-4' and no problem. So, as I am walking behind the two kids i turn around to hear what one of my friends is saying and when I turn around one of the boys is gone. As i get closer to the one standing there i can hear him yelling for help and saying his friend "CAN'T SWIM." I thouth to myself "what do I do!?" and before I knew it I was dropping my pole and diving in. When I got to him i grabbed the first thing I could. As we start making way to the surface the guy starts to panic and almost drowns the both of us. It wasn't till I squeezed the living hell out of him that he finally calmed down. I finally get him to shore and his friend thanked me many times and he stood there sobbing in shock. At that time i told the both of them that if you can't swim, this isn't the place to learn and it damn sure isn't the place to be fishing.

After about ten minutes of his friend consoling him they packed up and left.

Very sureal moment and one I know I'll never forget.

i am going to have to nominate this one as one of the most bizarre and freakin hilarious...
"As the light worked down the ladder he nearly sh*t his pants when the light hit the face of a full grown, male orangutan."..

omg i am freakin rollin right now...was it clyde from any which way but loose? was filo beddo loose on the river too?...thats surreal , what a shocker

....then when got down he was face to face with a fat biker that had just been tared and featherd....think he was wearing a black widows jacket.

I know it sounds far fetched, but my friends dad is a pretty serious guy and he's not much for "tall tales."

I was hunting down in Real Co., Tx a few years back and me and some friends were drinking beer in a small river between hunts to kill some time when a lady stopped to ask if we had seen any baboons. We told her we hadn't but that we'd keep a sharp eye out. She then told us we had better because they were mean as hell and had already killed some exotice in the area. The only baboons I saw that weekend were sitting right there in that river with me.