Before Undoogoo would venture into the jungle to begin his daily hunt, he would don a mask to confuse his prey. Not a mask meant to frighten. No. Undoogoo's mask was pleasant to look at, designed to trick his quarry into thinking he was harmless. In this way, Undoogoo was able to get close and strike a lethal blow. Which is exactly what he had in mind the day he spied a beautiful creature drinking at a watering hole. Hiding behind his benign facade, he positioned himself alongside his intended victim and prepared to attack. But what Undoogoo didn't know was that this "beautiful creature" was also wearing a mask. A mask that successfully camouflaged a fierce and merciless predator. And so it was that Undoogoo suddenly found himself being devoured, torn apart, eviscerated! His screams echoed through the jungle. But the jungle was accustomed to the sounds of agony and no one came to his aid. Bloodied and barely alive, he managed to escape and crawl back to his village where, to his horror, he discovered that his tormentor had taken possession of his hut. Now helpless and homeless, he was forced to live the rest of his days in the wild, feeding on what dung beetles feed on.

The moral of the story:

Mask or not, if you hunt without a prenup, pack some ketchup for the dung.

About a third of the way through this story I knew this had to be about blood-sucking women and marriage. This is a real story. Young men should take note.

Just trying to pass down some experience.

I am truly sorry you had that experience. I think something like that would really mess me up mentally.

The story itself, if original to you, was well done. Outstanding.

Even worse? WOW!

Reminds me of my first wife. My second --well, we are still friends, sort of.

Hudbone, let me quote our old friend Bill. “Bite me”.

'Didn't really get screwed by #1 (double entendre intended). It's taken decades, but it's finally patently obvious, to my children, and even to her parents, that I wasn't/am not the crazy one. (<hair color is close. Actually strawberry-blonde. Beware.)

ex wives may be the most entitled creature I've ever met.....

Sux having to pay that spousal and child support!

Ah yes, the evil woman.
Some of you need to look in the mirror for your problems.

Not my story. Just passing it on because I've seen it play out that way several times.

Now y'all have gone and pissed her off.

With you Wytex. Fellas like me who are still married to their 1st wife are, well, somewhat special. Every day I praise the Lord for sharing the life with a woman addicted to OPP.

You do know what OPP is right Hud? If so, well, that's pretty freakin' awesome.

I saw the OPP and immediately thought of the rap song

OPP in gringo speak - Overwhelming Physical Pleasure

When we got married, we made a deal to have "relations" four times a week. At least three with each other.

Sometimes, it is the man that is the cause of the issue leading to divorce. Maybe men are 50, 60, or 70% of the time at fault. I don't know and it does not matter in the case of my following statement. In most of the cases that I have seen (mine included) the woman, whether she was wronged in the marriage or the one doing the wrong, becomes evil during and after the divorce. At that point, she is simply looking to harm the one that she perceived broke her heart. She is vicious, and she know that the Man will have a hard time defending himself the way society and the courts are set up today.

OPP has been acquired to refer to something else. BBC was once the British Broadcasting Company. Not so much these days.

You keep the BBC, I'll stay with the OPP.

Maybe I should have worked a deal like that. Instead, she used sex to snag me and then deny me after we got married.

Never let them eat the wedding cake.

A big bud's first wife was very good in bed or so I heard. Evidently, she wanted everyone to know it.