Got a buddy that's going through some serious stuff. He keeps asking for my advice and man I really don't know what to tell him because I haven't been there.

From what he's told me - she's already been caught and forced to own up to it. Both of them were married. The other dude had young kids.

Cheating is cheating in my book - sounds like the typical online stuff - pictures, dirty talk, both talking about their marriage problems, she claims to him (her husband) that she told the other dude that her husband was the one for her and while she didn't know what this is - it is not serious - will not last forever - and that she'll never leave her husband - other dude agreed. From what my buddy says it never got to the point of being physical - but crossed just about every other line.

Buddy seems to be believing that.

As a married man - I don't buy into it. I won't say my wife would never do that - people are fickle, even the ones you know the best unfortunately - but I don't think she would. So not being in his shoes...don't know what to tell him.

Anyone got any good advice I can share with him?

It's almost always physical if it continues on.

Tell him to write Dear Abby.

It's always hardest to do something the first time, always easier after that. Cheat once, you'll cheat again.

Everyone is wired different, but for me, it would be over. Why would you ever want to stay in a relationship wondering about the commitment to one another?

If he has kids, maybe you work on it, otherwise...

Charlie

Trust has already been compromised, I wouldn't believe much she said that she couldn't prove. Don't know what I would do and pray I never find out. Hopefully no kids are involved on his side. If that's the case its time to bail! If they have kids then I believe parents owe it to their kids to put more effort.

It doesn’t matter what she did or didn’t do. He needs to assume the worst and decide if he can live with it without being miserable.

If he is a churchgoer that trusts his pastor, I'd start there. I wouldn't give advice so much as I would walk him through finding his own way by asking him questions.

I've got a friend that went through the exact same thing. He worked through it. He takes his vows serious. He pointed out that through the years he's looked at some porno and other failures he's made in marriage. They are stronger as a couple today than they were a year ago. They got through it by 1 faith in god 2 humbling themselves 3 counseling.

I actually have experience in this arena. Caught my ex in a very similar scenario. She said it never went physical, blah, blah, blah...As I had a boy, I decided to go the route of forgiveness. Let me tell you how hard that is. The marriage never was right after that. She did not put in the effort to deserve the forgiveness that she was getting. It did end up happening again, and we did eventually get divorced.

Now, I am not advocating that he divorce her either. I still have not figured out which process was worse, the Divorce, or the being Cheated on. Either way, he's got a tough time ahead of him.

It got physical

The Bible covers this. TWO REASONS for divorce. Abandonment and infidelity. God forgives divorce in only those two areas.

I would out the cheating husband to his wife and mother, then leave or divorce the cheating wife.

Never look back.

Save time, GTFO

She will do it again.

Divorce is hard. Losing self respect is harder

They need to see a professional therapist to figure out their feelings, after they get their heads straight, they need have counseling as couple to see if they can save the marriage. She apparently has issues with their marriage that aren't being addressed. If the infidelity hadn't occurred they could have started with couples counseling but now I think they each will need some individual attention first.

Oh the cheating dude had to face the music with his wife. Buddy saw to it.

My buddy also outed his wife to her dad, mom, and brother. Said if he had to rip the bandaid off so did she because he wasn't going to go around being fake with everyone.

I don't know man,I've seen a few couples move past cheating "incidents" and go on to lead relatively normal lives.

Stay out of it.

A dude recently outed his wife on the neighborhood FB page. It was sad and she just ran for city council. Admin removed it after an hour so only a few of us saw it. It's one way to deal with it but not recommended!!

Is she hot

More than likely. They just haven’t gotten caught yet


Out the door with her keester

Kids or not I would be gone (or actually she would be gone). Could never look her in the eye again or believe a single word out of her mouth. Ever. Done deal.

Best response so far.

Gotta take issue with that Cast. God can forgive anything He chooses. I'm the furthest thing from an "anything goes" kind of guy, but I don't presume to speak for the Almighty.

My ex blamed me for the marriage falling apart, "destroyed her self-esteem", etc. I begged to go to counseling. The counselor met with her alone for 10 minutes and then told me, separately, that my marriage was over. Ex told me to get out of the house. There were two little girls that I didn't think would be best served by Daddy camping in the living room, so I left. She divorced me. Worst period of my entire life. I don't see how you stay married to a person that won't stay married to you. I'm not cut out for celibacy and lonliness and I don't think God wants that for us.

Later heard about Mommy's "friend" at work. She said that she was never physical with him. Mommy married the "friend" a while later.

Women lie easier than men. That's a fact.

I think I'm just going to stay out of it. Maybe just tell him to follow his gut.

Be there when he needs a bud. One of my buddies went through it recently, we invited him to a lot of stuff and made it a point to do more stuff with him.