After hearing the term a few times, some of which was aimed at me, I decided to do some digging and find out what exactly I was being called.

"Topwater- I think the definition of a topwater would be a duck hunter, new to the sport that obsesses over it. I mean that is all they think about. They try anything and everything to kill a duck. They present themselves in public as an expert and make sure all around them know how good, the gadgets they possess, and how obsessed they are with their sport. So topwater I would probably say is all about the presentation of yourself in duck hunting to people around you. All of us were newbies and totally obsessed with duck hunting at one time or another. I will be the first to say I did a lot of things on this list at one time or another and I was obsessed with duck hunting. So as you read these please don't get mad at me for listing them because I did most of them. I actually was Topwater of the year in 1997. So here they are (just finish each statement with you might be a topwater):

If you try to load 3.5 into a 3 inch gun,
If you have camo makeup on your face after the hunt when you make it to town to grab breakfast,
If you wear your calls into the restaurant,
If there is nothing older than two years old in all of your duck hunting supplies,
If you have a dog named delta or gumbo,
If you put camo makeup on your yellow dog,
If you have more spinners than regular decoys,
If you have to many duck hunting stickers on your truck,
If Drake or Under Armour is your number one brand in your closet for all your clothes,
If you have a duck tatoo,
If you use a Primos Shaker feeder,
If you have more chokes than shells,
If you can't clean your own gun, (I fit into this one, I have to get a client to clean it for me each year)
If all your duck bands came from EBAY,
If you think your banded bird was banded in Laurel, Maryland,
If you use duck cocaine or hen-n-heat in your hole,
If you copy or quote more than three things from The Duckman,
If you park a red or yellow 4-wheeler beside your blind in full site of ducks,
If you think you can shoot two daily limits because of the possession limit law,
If the only comeback you know is the Arkansas hail call,
If all your camo matches to the T,
If you don't know what a grebe is, (that's me, i thought I had a rare coot)
If you buy Drake old school camo,
If you have a dog named drake or avery,
If you hunt public land and set up 50 yards or less from the next group and refuse to hunt with the other party next to you even after being asked to,
You try to kill a duck 75 yards or higher,
If you use confidence decoys,
If you don't know how to load your gun,
If you shoot more ducks on the water instead of hovering,
If you own a call coozie,
If you blow a Canada call when specks are flying two miles high over you,
If your ring tone on your cell phone is duck chatter,
If you use camo toilet paper,
If you just happen to have your handy dandy hand held crow call on your duck lanyard.
If you have chrome exhaust on your outboard or mud motor for your duck boat." - unknown

Quite a list I thought but also quite entertaining. I can't say I'm exactly new but for reasons that I now deeply regret I was out of the sport for a while so I'm starting over. However, there are several of these criteria that I meet (I certainly don't think I'm a expert by any means and my hunting buds will attest to the fact I ask a LOT of questions). I would also guess that many of you, new or seasoned vet, will still associate with a one or two. So to answer the question, yes I would call myself a topwater. The thing is that I don't care. I go out, I have a blast and I kill birds. Isn't that what it's all about in the end?

I've done one or two of those. Everyone that starts out on their own is a topwater for the first year or two. Looking back I see how stupid some of the things I used to do are, but I think I'm doing alright now for learnin on my own. This is year number 7 for me.

You left one out... If your sig pic is of duck commander.. You might be a topwater ^^^^^^^^

Hmmm, I kinda like the name Gumbo for a dawg.

Guilty on the Drake old school camo hoody, but to my credit it was a gift. Plus I had that camo pattern from back when it was "new school".

You might be a top water if you make a list about top waters.

And another one left out... If you use the term topwater you might be...

I can identify with more of these than I'm proud of...

kdub beat me to it...

nevermind...

My toilet paper is only camo after I use it!

What's wrong with crow calls?

Stole my thunder.

Got to keep them in check too!

Do you have a whole flock of crow stuffers?

maybe a topwater if you run out of gas on the way to hunt. I did that. Had to have one of the guys that was there on time come pick me up and we missed first half hour of hunt. Prime time...

Well.......... I guess he shut us all up on this post!!!!!!!

Saw a guy at BPS the other night wearing his lanyard walking around blowing his calls.
Is he a topwater or a barney?
Real sad part was he sounded pretty good.

*If you make a list about topwaters

Thanks man

good one ! I got your top water good buddy .

How do you know when your done with camo t-paper?

Blowing your duck calls when there are no ducks or before LST.

If you hunt from your boat with your mojos in the rod holders.