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When You Are Over Seventy. . . . If you're not over 70 yet, enjoy this anyway!
#6049312
11/25/15 03:43 PM
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Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,985
TonyinVA
OP
Pro Tracker
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OP
Pro Tracker
Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,985 |
I was standing at the bar one night, minding my own business. This fat, ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my [censored] and said, "You're kind of cute. You got a phone number?" I said, "Yep, you got a pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen." I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you." Cost me six stitches and a bruise the size of a cattle hoof. But when you're over seventy, who gives a [censored]!
Cowboy says, "Give me three packets of condoms, please." Cashier asks, "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?" Cowboy says, "Nah. She's purty good lookin'." When you are over seventy, who gives a [censored].
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you." When you are over seventy, who gives a [censored].
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Really" she said, "Go on then... try." After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?" I said, "Yesterday." When you are over seventy, who gives a [censored].
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in. When you are over seventy, who gives a [censored]. I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table. I said, "Good legs." The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so." I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now." When you are over seventy, who gives a [censored].
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Re: When You Are Over Seventy. . . . If you're not over 70 yet, enjoy this anyway!
[Re: TonyinVA]
#6049403
11/25/15 04:36 PM
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 22,630
Cast
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 22,630 |
Poor Al.
Cast I have a short attention spa
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Re: When You Are Over Seventy. . . . If you're not over 70 yet, enjoy this anyway!
[Re: TonyinVA]
#6049963
11/25/15 10:27 PM
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,549
Ron H
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 1,549 |
The swimming pool incident was good.
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Re: When You Are Over Seventy. . . . If you're not over 70 yet, enjoy this anyway!
[Re: TonyinVA]
#6077927
12/11/15 04:56 AM
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Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 6,183
Mike Honcho
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 6,183 |
I cant stop laughing. Picturing an old marlboro induced raspy voice saying all this.
“Two things that define an individual what you do when you have everything, and what you do when you have nothing."
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Re: When You Are Over Seventy. . . . If you're not over 70 yet, enjoy this anyway!
[Re: TonyinVA]
#6078807
12/11/15 09:12 PM
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 418
DrPerry
Bird Dog
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Bird Dog
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 418 |
I shot my first Thanksgiving turkey the other day
Scared the chit out of other the people in the grocery store!
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