I know the book says 1.169 but I was wondering what have you guys find to be accurate? More specifically I'm looking for the oal on a xdm 5.25 competiton series?

Depends on bullet shape and weight. Hollow pt, round nose, 115 gr, 125 gr etc?

115gr rn

I have an XD9 and load with 5.0gr of AutoComp, OAL is 1.113 That is very accurate out of my pistol

121-125gn bullet.
0.356-0.357" jacketed bullets.
Bullet just touching the lede/rifling.
Power Pistol or Silhouette.
Use of longest cases (~0.750-0.754" case lengths)

I've never been accurate enough with any pistol to notice a difference in OAL; you'd have to be pretty darn good, or use a ransom rest to see OAL adjustments in a pistol IMO.

That said, I am as rock steady with a pistol as Muhammad Ali.

Seat it to max OAL or just under max OAL. See my other post in your other topic about seating depth.

Work on tuning the powder charge to the pistol. I do a load work up in my pistols just like I do in a rifle. If book max says 5 grains, then I'll load up rounds in .1 increments from about 4.4 to 5.2, and see what shoots the best at about 20-25 yards. You will see groups open up and tighten up. But shoot the groups as accurately as possible from a sand bag rest and shoot slow. Let the gun tell you want it likes.