Something we'll all face one day ...

How to Tell a Friend That You Are Dying ...

It is one of the hardest things in life to be told that you are going to die. Another challenging and sad task is telling your friends. Too often there are articles on how to receive such information but less on how to go ahead and give the information. It takes courage and love but you can do it.

Steps to consider ...

1. Realize what NOT telling your good friend will do. He or she will be shocked and upset that you kept the information secret. While you may be afraid of telling them for fear of scaring them or upsetting them, it is better for them to hear it from you than on the grapevine - or worse: at your funeral.

2. Choose a pleasant and peaceful place to break the news. A local garden or your own home are good choices. It helps to be seated as this is never the stuff of strong legs. Include coffee or a pot of tea to ease dry throats and provide a source of distracting comfort.

3. Start by telling them what a great friend they are. Recall that you have had both good and bad times together and have always pulled through and that now you have some news to tell that you want your friend to hear with good grace and understanding.

4. Be straightforward. Do not beat around the bush but use clear language. Tell your friend "I have lung and bone cancer and the doctors say it is inoperable and incurable. I am dying. They have given me up to six months to live."

5. Expect shock, tears and even silence. This is not bearable news for either of you. Your emotions will be hard to control because you are telling a good friend you know you won't be talking to in a few months' time. Use hugs and holding of hands as a sign of deep connection. At a time like this, often no more words are needed but a great deal of comfort is essential. At this point, there is no rule book or how-to ... you will both do what feels right at the moment.

6. Let your friend speak and voice their emotions. Your friend is in shock and may say things that don't quite gel with your needs or interests. Just listen and let it flow out; it'll become quite clear later to your friend what she or he has said in moments of un-clarity. Your own emotions will be turbulent but it is best to try to not think "but I'm the one who's dying". This doesn't change anything and will only embitter you.

7. Ask for whatever you need. Your friend will want to help and it is always a good idea to have something in mind for your friend to do. This provides a sense of coping for your friend and also alleviates concerns that your friend may have about you needing assistance. You might like to be driven to the doctor's weekly or to have your friend visit a little more often.

8. Keep in touch with each other. This is not the time for letting go of friendships and feeling self-pity. The life you have remaining counts for everything and friendship is a vital part of the support, love and care that you deserve.

So thanks for reading this and thanks even more for your friendship.

Cappy the dog will be waiting at the bridge and will be glad to see you. Just know you're going to a better place. We all have to go but knowing it eminent, I don't know how I would face that. I hope it's as bravely as you seam to be taking it.

I have friends waiting for me there ...

[img]https://texashuntingforum.com/forum/pics/...ogs.jpg_2.jpg_m[/img]

I've enjoyed reading your posts over the years, weather it be for wisdom, dog advice, waterfowl advice etc. You ve always provided us with some insight to things and perspectives many of us did not know.

Prayers up, Cappy.

I’m really saddened by this post Cappy, prayers up my friend.

I've never met you but from the forum know you are one of the gooduns! See ya there someday. Give Mikey, Reba and Penny a pat on the head and an ear rub or two for me and let them know I will see them someday.

Prayers for you and yours Cappy. I share with you the loss and heartache of my lab. Prayers you reunite.

I'm very sorry to read this, Cappy. Prayers up to you and yours.

Thanks to those who've expressed concern and offered good thoughts. I had two lobes of my right lung removed in mid-December due to cancer. We thought they got it all then but it's since metastasized into bone cancer for which there is no surgery or other cure. I'll be 77 in October and have lived a long and successful life for which I'm very grateful. A good wife and a number of excellent dogs over the years who, for whatever reason, loved me in return. What more can one really ask for?

Blessings your way sir, do concentrate on the good things you have experienced in life.

I'm very sorry to read this. God bless you and comfort you.

God bless you Cappy. I spent many years reading your posts and enjoyed learning from you. You have been an inspiration to me for working hard to own my own piece of land someday like you did. Look forward to seeing you on the other side someday.

Cappy, I just saw this and you have know idea how sad this makes me and my group feel.

I do know one thing, there will always be a wetlands in Fannin County named "Cappy's".

God Bless You my friend!

Cappy, well said, something we each have to face. the Lord is with you.

Texas Wetlands ... Don't recognize your screen name but very much appreciate your kind words and especially the comment about "Cappy's in Fannin County." He was with me in 2004 when we bought that wetlands property; virtually every time I was there doing any pre-season work on it; and most definitely every time we hunted or went there up through 2012 when the generous new owner allowed me to scatter Cappy's ashes there. It was his favorite place ever.

Prayers to Cappy

I had the pleasure of hunting with Cappy and his dog Remi one frosty morning. Helped to install a homemade ice eater that Cappy had "engineered". Was able to pick his brain on dog training for my female yellow lab, Kendall and witness the haven he created for his family/wildlife. Truly a man who invested more into a way of life and only expected in return, time spent with his pups and family. Wish there were more like him but in the same sense glad that he will always be one of a kind.

Prayers Up For Ya Cappy.

TrackQuack ... enjoyed having you up to "Cappy's place" for a hunt. Having friends and acquaintances hunt with us, especially if they have their own dogs with, is one of the great pleasures we derived from owning and developing that place inoto a credible training area and hunting spot.

So sorry to hear this. I've always enjoyed your posts and stories.
Love ya, Jim.


Jason

Sir,
we typed a few times and have never met. I wish for you most peaceful exit. You will be missed here.. Olducker

Sorry to hear this Cappy, glad to see you seem to be at peace with what you are facing. Will be praying for you and your family.

I was asked to post this message:

Nevada Jim,

I was recently forwarded your post from an old friend of ours from the DU forum. My prayers are with you and Carol. I have enjoyed our many conversations on ducks and dogs. Fear not. Be strong and courageous. Your faith has saved you.

Your friend
Swamper

Thanks so much for those kind words, Swamper. Mine has been a long journey. I've been blessed with almost 77 years of existence on this earth that has included a wonderful wife (and hunting partner), nine gun dogs ranging from good to spectacular, and enough blind luck to be able to retire at age 49 with financial independence. Along the way, I've met some exceptional people that I've been lucky enough to call friends. In addition, there have been dozens of folks like you that I've been very blessed to have made the acquaintance of as we shared hunting, fishing and dog experiences. I thank each and every one of them for enriching my life along the way.

Thanks to all who've commented on this thread. I'll miss the many friends that dogs and duck hunting have helped me make. I've very much enjoyed the Texas Hunting Forum for many years and hope to continue for the short time I have remaining.

Cappy you are one of those unique souls that are always full of life and information always willing to help others

I have enjoyed your insight over the years and enjoyed our conversations from time to time

You will be in our thoughts

I wish you peace, Cappy. I have enjoyed your stories and the pictures and memories over the years. Prayers of comfort and love to you and your family.

I never met you, but your many posts about your wetlands inspired me to dream to one day be able to have that for my family, mainly my 2 boys. Thank you for sharing all of your knowledge and experiences. It has truly made this forum better. Prayers for you and your family.

Thomas

Prayers to you Cappy

Cappy_TX though as far as I know we have never met but through the THF I have and will always feel blessed to have had the opportunity to read and enjoy your contributions to this forum and the Hunting Community in which we live and enjoy.

Stay devout in your religion, strong in your friendships may the Lord bless you and yours

Such a wonderful way to say good by. My Dad and my uncle who are my best friends and long time hunting companions are already up there finding the best spots. Look them up. Johnny and the Rebel you will not find 2 better or more honorable men. I pray I will be lucky enough to join you and them up there when my time comes. God bless you and will you forever get your limit if that pleases you!!!!!!!!!!

We all have our turn on this merry go round don't we?. Hope the remainder of your days are free of pain and surrounded by friends and family.

I've never met you Cappy but ive read a many of your stories over the years. Sorry to hear the news, i had a uncle recently that went thru the same. My prayers are with you and God bless Cappy. I'll think of you alot bub

Clay

Appreciate so many kind words. We duck hunters have a strong fraternity, huh?

Hang in there Cappy. Lots of people here and at home that care about you.

Don't know you Cappy. Live these days to their fullest. Make your peace with family, friends and the lord. God Bless brother...

Two of my all time favorite hunting pals ...

Continued prayers Sir!

It aint over yet buddy. God has a plan, may he bless you with comfort and healing.

-Haiden

I've been a member for 10 years now, mostly present on the waterfowl boards, and have always enjoyed your posts Cappy. Thank you for all that you've shared. I've always told my dogs over the years, and prayed to our Lord Jesus, for my dogs to bring me home to Him one day. I'm sure yours will too. God Bless.