Black Eyes

A man walked into work Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.

The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns I noticed her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."

"Where did you did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked.

"Well", the man said, "I figured she didn't want it out, so I pushed it back in."

That’s funny

Q.What do call a man with two black eyes?

A. A slow learner.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, she's already been told twice.

Red, that’s a great one.

I heard a longer version of this one that I am not allowed to repeat anymore.

The wife unit said I could not tell it anymore. I pointed out that my mom told me the joke, but the wife did not care.

I actually heard this over 50 years ago. Still funny