Posted By: redhaze
Aussie Ventriloquist - 05/12/20 01:09 PM
An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees an old farmer sitting on his porch petting his dog. He figures he will have a little fun, so he says to the farmer, "G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"
Old Farmer, "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog (via ventriloquist): "Doin' all right."
Old Farmer: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing to farmer)
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me good food and takes me to the lake to play once a week."
Old Farmer: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist : "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Old Farmer: "Horse doesn't talk either, ....I think."
Ventriloquist : "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Old Farmer: (look of total amazement)
Ventriloquist : "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
After a long pause.....
Old Farmer: (in a panic) "The sheep's a f**kin' liar!"
Old Farmer, "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog (via ventriloquist): "Doin' all right."
Old Farmer: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing to farmer)
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me good food and takes me to the lake to play once a week."
Old Farmer: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist : "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Old Farmer: "Horse doesn't talk either, ....I think."
Ventriloquist : "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Old Farmer: (look of total amazement)
Ventriloquist : "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
After a long pause.....
Old Farmer: (in a panic) "The sheep's a f**kin' liar!"