Posted By: bill oxner
Philosophers of the century - 06/02/18 05:29 PM
http://www.millercountyliberal.com/news/2018-02-07/Opinion/Philosophers_of_the_century.html?print=1
~ Jean Kerr...
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats.
~ Prince Philip...
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.
~ Harrison Ford...
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
~ Spike Milligan...
The best cure for Sea Sickness, is to sit under a tree.
~ Jean Rostand..
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror
~ Arnold Schwarzenegger...
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million.
~ WH Auden...
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
~ Jonathan Katz..
In hotel rooms, I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked.
~ Johnny Carson...
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead.
~ Steve Martin...
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.
~ Jimmy Durante...
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.
~ Jonathan Winters...
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport.
~ Robert Benchley...
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
~ John Glenn...
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
~ David Letterman...
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked.
~ Howard Hughes...
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Dammit, I'm a billionaire.
~ Old Italian proverb.
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.
