What I want to see...

Ever notice the disclaimers on television shows? I have always hated them, think they are useless lawyereze drivel...and we, the viewing public, are stuck with them apparently, even on hunting shows!? REALLY?, is always my response, to the never ending warning graphic images mumbo jumbo that light up the screen and instill fear and dread on the viewing audience. I never felt that sense of dread before all these required warnings were added to shows, supposedly to remind viewers to turn off the tv or send in your offended comments to the producer or other government agency...

So, it seems that the TV viewing audiences are stuck with these vile warnings of graphic images, Forever. So what I want to see are warnings that get the point across to any snowflake or otherwise easily offended person, in a manner that does not offend the casual viewing audience ( or hunter)... I am trying to think of some good warnings, please help me develop some...

Warning, the show you are about to see involves real people in real situations hunting for food, and bloody is part of the process.

Warning, on this show, we will hunt, kill, clean and prepare the meat, just like we do at home. This is an instructional video for our home viewers.

Warning, the clean kills and ethical treatment of animals, and their meat, is what you are about to experience.

Well, these are just a few samples, none of which seem all that good or funny to me...so PLEASE, if you have heard a good one, or can think of one please add it to this thread, so everyone can enjoy, what is otherwise wasted time/space on a TV show. (IMO)

Warning: This program depicts the extraordinary violence man has for thousands of years been forced to perpetrate on things in our environment, and our enemies. If your socialist sensibilities are offended and you'd prefer not to experience this violence firsthand, keep your commie hands off our God, guns, and constitution. Or...simply change the channel!!!

Hahahahahaha...Yeeee. my sides are hurting!

"No animals were harmed in filming this show.....except the ones we killed"

This program depicts the reality of nature, not the way Disney or anyone that thinks life can exist without any form of death wishes it would be.

"This is the Outdoor channel, get over it"... 3 second spot.....

^^Wins the internet today.

Automobile ad always have the disclaimer "Professional driver, closed course, do not attempt." And they drive like idiots.
I want an ad were the driver is obeying traffic laws, just cruising along. Stop and watch the sun set. Have the disclaimer say "open road, real person driving. Do this."

Hard to beat this response.

Yea, but they are all good points...I mean the Disney world comment...I got sick to my stomach as a youngster, watching Bambi...Really?...I had to endure that BS all my life...ohh, you shot BAMBI...yep, sure did, want a bite?

And the one Western posted..get over it! .three seconds!

And the Joey Chitwood professional stunt drivers...you know my version of a traffic jam, is when you have to come to a sudden and complete stop to let a covey of quail cross the road, or to watch a bachelor group of bucks (or Jakes) over on the hillside, no to forget the sunset (which I usually do on my porch in the evening.

These comments are all better than mine!