Folks who drink themselves to death

Seems like I’m seeing it more and more. Maybe it’s just that people I know are getting older and things are catching up to them. I don’t know what the numbers are but it’s got to be a lot of folks every year.

What kind of crowd do you hang around?

I haven't noticed it, but again back in mid 30's I decided to not be friends with drunks, druggies, people with financial issues, etc, made my life a lot easier.

I only hang around people who have their act and life together, got no time for people with personal issues

I know of several in my area, they were all middle age, and all men.
I can’t understand it but it happens.

I had a friend die at 46 from drinking. Left 3 kids and a wife behind.

I have know several over they years. One was my brother-in-law, the only time he was sober was when he went to work. His friends got his house ready to sell for his adopted daughter, they had an aluminum recycling place bring out a trailer to take all of the beer cans from the garage. Two car type and it was full to the roof and almost completely filled the trailer.

A neighbor ruined his liver with alcohol and when they found it was bad, he lasted less than 2 weeks. He left behind a wife and junior high daughter.
Both of these people were drunks all the way back to high school.

Alcohol and drugs and ruined a lot of good men.

There`s not a person alive that doesn`t have personal issues. You`re kidding yourself if you actually believe that. Everyone has problems of some kind.

100% Agree. "Everybody seems normal...until you get to know them." Similar to the "I don't allow drama on our lease." Big talk.

At one time in my life I lived with a beer can in my hand. I drank beer every day and night. I had blisters start coming out on my hands. I found out my liver was acting up. I quit drinking beer. I later found out it was vitamin D causing my problem. I never drank any more regular beer. I started drinking 0% beer. I did this for about 6 months and one day it hit me. Now I'm spending time and money drinking 0% and I don't need it. I quit alcohol completely. I really didn't realize how much time and money I spent drinking. I'm 73 yrs old now. This all happen about 20 years ago. After I quit I became a better Husband and Dad. In those 20 years I've drank maybe a 12 pack. I'll have a beer with my boys sometimes. Just one beer. I don't want anymore. I really feel that those blisters was God's way of telling me I needed to get my life straight. It's hard to look at yourself and say "What am I doing". I'm really glad I looked in the mirror.

Saw it happen to a very good friend. Worked all his life but could never settle into retirement.

It is a mental addiction that turns into a mental AND physical addiction.

And yes, it can ruin some good people.

My grandpa died of sorosis in the late 70's, one of my uncle's also in early 2000s. Both high achieving self employed guys, a joy to be around. I wouldn't say it's a new problem

IDK, seems like I see it less these days

More weed usage, overall less drinking

This! The older I get, the more I realize everyone has a wound, a scar, a 'ding' of some sort. It can be physical or mental. Some live well in spite of it, some let it control them, some let it kill them.

My friends and I go back 35-40 years. We all live in different parts of the country now, but we get together every couple of months. If I need help, one or more will get here fast. Yes, it would be "easier" but we do not abandon each other when problems arise.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. Best friends will be in there with you.

Marc

and maybe, just maybe, you could be the one to help that person make it through their pain or trouble.

Yep.

Had a good friend (drinking buddy) die in the hospital from internal organ failure just before Christmas many years ago. He had been spitting up blood for a while. Sad thing was that he had poured all his booze down the drain just a couple days prior. Wrecked his car in the hospital ER parking lot. Never regained consciousness.

It happens. Almost happened to me. May 2nd was 7 years without a drop.

You have to be stronger than the addiction...period. Same with people that smoke...that cigarette is stronger than you.

Yep, took my throat cancer to finally convince me. I'll have maybe 1-2 drinks a year now.

I lost a cousin to it in his mid 40's. He had issues with it his entire life and they found him dead one day in his apartment. I quit drinking when I was 25. Had I not quit, I probably would be in the ground right beside him.

Without exception, just as the moon, everyone has a never seen dark side.

Former coworker for me same age left 2 daughters and wife.

I think of it as suicide on the long term plan.

Alcohol makes the pain go away for awhile.

How many drinks a week do you have?

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

Was speaking in general.

But I probably had 8 beers this week in Mexico.

I've got three friends that turned 40 this year, know them since kindergarten. The way they've been going theist 20 years; they all be dead before 50. My buddy's dad passed away earlier this year and I saw them all at the funeral, 10am and they looked like hammer dig chit in a suit. Sad really, some of the brightest people I know, all three had full academic rides. One to Wash-U, one DePaul and the other UT.

I’ve known 3. All successful in the business arena. All functioned well in their careers. All chronic hard drinkers after work. All appeared to be happy individuals that just really liked to get drunk. All handled their booze well. In each case their liver gave out in their early 50’s. One got a liver transplant but did not survive. All of them repeatedly disappointed or embarrassed their families due to their chronic drinking. Right or wrong, I judged each of them to be weak of mind and lacking character.

Just checking, post seemed very ominous

Not just men. I knew a very pretty successful woman in her 40's divorced, couldn't find another relationship that was good for her. She couldn't handle rejection at all and drank herself to an early exit from this world. It was very sad and mental health is a problem now days.

My BIL drank like there was no tomorrow, until there wasn't. Sad to watch

So where is the Now Drinking thread

Right above this one.

What's considered to much I drink 8 beers everyday ?

Who knows why, but when I drink (ONE...and first gin martini in hand presently), I sometimes think of poetry. 'Pretty sure I'm not Irish. None showed in the spit test. (See Yeats, Moore, Beckett, Joyce, Wilde, etcetera). Alcoholism is an awful affliction. But, the first stanza of this poem has spoken to me for many years, appearing in a daily devotional that helped get me through one of the most difficult years of my life. It applies to a lot of other things too. (I need a lot of inspiration to put up with other people's...)

Judge Not

Judge not; the workings of his brain
And of his heart thou canst not see;
What looks to thy dim eyes a stain,
In God’s pure light may only be
A scar, brought from some well-won field,
Where thou wouldst only faint and yield.

The look, the air, that frets thy sight,
May be a token, that below
The soul has closed in deadly fight
With some infernal fiery foe,
Whose glance would scorch thy smiling grace,
And cast thee shuddering on thy face!

The fall thou darest to despise—
May be the angel’s slackened hand
Has suffered it, that he may rise
And take a firmer, surer stand;
Or, trusting less to earthly things,
May henceforth learn to use his wings.

And judge none lost; but wait, and see,
With hopeful pity, not disdain;
The depth of the abyss may be
The measure of the height of pain
And love and glory that may raise
This soul to God in after days! - Adelaide Anne Procter (1825-1864)

Heartbreaking. I can go weeks without a drink. Sometimes I don't even think about it.

Counting my blessings.

Well done.

Took care of many in the ICU. The liver failure would manifest as esophageal hemorrhage secondary to the blood engorging veins as it couldn't pass through the diseased liver well enough. Look up Esophageal varices. I've had patients bleeding out, got the bleeding stopped, give them 15-20 units of blood product in the process. Build 'em up with fluid and they get to feeling better, leave against medical advice (AMA), and come back in in 48 hours bleeding out. They would usually die that time. bad death choking on blood as the lights go out.

Sounds horrible. If they had stayed, would anything have been different? Can’t even imagine witnessing that.

addictions are terrible no matter how you slice it.

Easy to throw stones till you've lived it.

My FIL went into the Air Force with his friend, (this was in the late 40's). Kid never had a drink before the Air Force and was hooked.
Once they got out of the AF his friend would ask my FIL to take him to a motel on Friday and pick him up on Monday. The guy would stay in the motel room and drink hard for 4 day in a row. He did this every chance he could.
He lived to be 29 years old.
Pretty sad.

I know there are a lot of variables and no set in stone answer but generally speaking how much drinking is too much?

Is it drinks per day, per week, per month? How do you assess it? I mean let’s take a 12 pack. If you drank a 12 pack a week that would be less than 2 a day on average. I don’t think that would be too harmful. But let’s say you drank that same 12 pack a week but you drank them all on Friday and Saturday night - I presume that is worse for you?

I would guess many of us on here drink on occasion and probably a lot fairly regularly. At what volume/frequency does one really need to start worrying?

We all have to die from something. I judge no one, except myself.

I can somewhat relate to this. It reminds me of the Dan Pena quote/video which I love.


But to the OP’s point....I have been pretty shocked at some of the folks I know who I found out drink way more than I expected. I have been lucky that I have not directly experienced this with anyone I’m personally close to or family. But I understand everyone has something that is their vice or personal struggle and some people’s demons and struggles are too much for them, so they search for an escape whatever way they can. It’s sad and I hate it for them. What JG wrote about the mental struggle turning into a physical dependence is spot on.

Every human body is different and have differing rates of metabolism. Some bodies are just weaker in their abilities to handle the toxicity of alcohol.

There are no rules but I don't see a 12 pack a weekend as dangerous. Your body has time to recovery from the alcohol toxic rush during the midweek rest. A 6- 12 pack a day is more dangerous for some. Seen it (beer) kill 2 close friends of mine.

If they quit drinking and lived healthily they might survive as the liver has wonderful regenerative abilities. I've also seen folks quit drinking long enough to qualify for a liver transplant and as soon as they are set with the new liver they destroy it too drinking.

What causes the esophagus veins to rupture (they become engorged due to venous vascular backup or congestion. So when you bleed anywhere the ideal treatment is to put pressure on it if possible so we would put a tube down their throat that sticks out the mouth and goes all the way to the top of the stomach. Well part of the tube would inflates to press against the bleeding veins. The part in the stomach would empty blood and air from the stomach. It was medieval ! The coup-de-grace was we put a football helmet and anchored the tube to the face bar. Their hands were tied and they were on regularly scheduled ativan or Valium . (benzodiazepines)

Now some liver failures don't have this problem (portal hypertension) and just get toxic from rising ammonia levels and other toxins that the liver would usually eliminate from the body. These folks go into comas .

Liver function can be tested with a simple blood test that we should all get with a yearly exam.

Could be worse. My used to be buddy moved on mostly from booze after decades to meth.

My ol man...who was a career marine of 31yrs and highly decorated WW2 and Korea vet drank himself to death at 63yo...he controlled it fairly well until he retired and then went full blown.
Same with many of his buds also....dayum shame

I agree sir

What I've found out over the years if you say I'll drink a 12 pack a week after a while you'll say it's not hurting me. Next will be 3 six packs then a case. Then it's drinking a six pack a day. How much is too much? When I quit I was drinking a six pack or more a day. I look back on it now and wonder why I did it and how stupid I was. When I was doing it I thought it was fine to drink like I was. Sooner or later your body will tell you it's too much. You better listen or end up six feet down.

I see all around me with relatives, friends and co-workers. I myself drank obsessively for about 15 years before deciding that I dont want to set a bad example for my kids. It was when I stopped that I noticed how much of a grip it had on me. I fought daily to stay sober and now I fight weekly. Theres too much to live for to waste it on trash like that and I have a lot more money in my checking account. It also feels good to wake up at 5am and ready to go instead of dragging.

79 yoa and spent a lot of years keeping the breweries in business but certainly couldn’t say I was ever an Alkie. Went to jail several times for either drunk in public, DWI or altercations that were fueled by beer.

Now, I keep beer and liquor around but it is unusual, maybe rare, for me to drink anything. Occasional margarita with wife. Think I had a beer a week ago after mowing the lawn.

I think he is trying to say, is that people either have positive energies and are uplifting and beneficial to have relationships with, or they have negative energies that will suck yours away and bring you down and wrap you up in their drama.


I had to cut ties (most happened naturally) with 95% of the people I hung around in my 20's. It's a sobering reality to realize that the people you are associating with have nothing to offer you in terms of a mutually beneficial relationship.


I can honestly say that now, although my friend count has fallen way down, every friendship I have is very much a quality one

I've known some folks including my significant other that have had traumatic things happen in their lives. Some folks can deal with it through various measures and others turn to destructive things to help with the mental pain and anguish. Its not a pleasant situation either way. I've also known folks that just like drinking. Pretty much for the most part too much of anything is very bad for you-including water.

It's a problem when every time you drink, you drink to excess.

I don't drink anymore not because I want a beer, but because I want fifteen beers.

“And that’s a whole lotta brew for one night.”

Thanks for the explanation. That’s horrifying.

I drink because i wanted to drown my sorrows but now the damned things have learned to swim

I think that is a good way to know if a person has a problem with alcoholism but doesn’t really address how much it takes to ruin your liver. While I admit it is very unlikely that someone would drink like this but 15 beers in one night once a month and absolutely zero alcohol until the next month likely wouldn’t ruin your liver. I am no doctor but I think it has a pretty good ability to heal itself if it isn’t being abused on a regular basis.

I don’t personally know anyone who has died from alcohol. For those who have can you shed some light on the quantities they were drinking? I just have visions of people who die from alcohol downing like a fifth a day several days a week or something.

I have really cut back the last year I didn’t drink a drop from Halloween until January and since then it has been moderately but before that I usually had 3-4 drinks a day but very rarely more but also rarely less.

Just got word that one of three passed away last night. His girlfriend found him unresponsive on their back porch this morning.

My son has been a drinker since he was 15 and is now 38 and an alcoholic. Been to rehab several times, but will not get involved with a recovery program. His wife, well she is a drug addict and same thing - thinks she can do it on her own. Got kicked out of rehab and will not commit to a recovery program. So me and my wife have gone to court to get temporary custody of our granddaughter to keep the drug addict from taking her back. It's not the plan we had for our life approaching our 70's. Turns out the paperwork CPS gives you to be the caretakers is worthless if the parent wants to call the police and force you to hand the child over. It makes no sense that CPS can show up at a meth house, flash their badges and take a child, but then when the grandparents have her with the CPS paperwork there is nothing preventing the parents from taking her back without the grandparents permission. So we had to spend a bunch of money to go through the courts to protect the baby.
I don't think our son will make it to 40. It's difficult to watch your child basically kill himself.

Don’t, it’s not worth it.

Well this got really depressing really fast. Side note some people just like to have a good time .

No sympathy whatsoever...I'm stronger than tobacco, drugs or alcohol. I'm 100% in control.

That’s rough man.

Reading things like this make me sick.

It’s odd, but I’m just not drinking much anymore. A cold beer on a hot day is great, but I used to drink 6 or 8 more. Wine doesn’t taste as good as it did. Happily, Tullamore Dew still tastes good - one short glass of it. I need to work on my drinking game. I’ve lost a step.

The wife’s nephews, all 3 of the guys, can and will drink a 30 pack of Busch Lite a day. Mildly drunk from 10 am till midnight. I’ll sit with them and have one beer. Truthfully, I might have more than one beer if they had good beer.

Who knows?
But personally I think a beer or 2 a day might do more good than harm, relax the tension of life.
I personally don’t drink but I don’t have anything against drinking, if a person can drink responsibility.
I never was a big drinker but did enjoy a beer once a week when I was younger, the more I didn’t drink the worst it would taste and now I just don’t want any alcohol at all.

People also smoke themselves to death, eat themselves to death ….I had to cut back on milk, that was making me too fat!

We've got someone on my wife's side that's drinking a handle of McCormick's vodka....every day without fail. Retirement age - had a successful career - very successful husband - kids / grandkids - pretty much your all american family. She will throw a walleyed FIT at Thanksgiving if anyone drinks. I (and my wife) have been on to her BS charade for years...it's all finally come to light, but she's one of those people who are going to kill someone or kill herself...she gets plastered-fall-down drunk and she gets behind the wheel.

Bunch of enablers on her side unfortunately. I believe in tough love and if I know she's on the road drunk - cops are getting called. She needs professional help.

About 2.5 years into college I realized I was quickly becoming a functioning alcoholic and nipped that in the bud real quick. I rarely (maybe once a month) drink these days. Can't remember the last time I was drunk. Alcohol was easy for me to control - dipping snuff was a much, much harder addiction to break.

I had a friend that drank way too much from the time I met him in college. He had a lot going for him. Family had a big ranch, tons of money, and they were good parents from what I could tell. He just never let up. He would start around lunch every day. I lost touch, but another friend called one day and told me had died. He basically drowned in his own blood from internal hemorrhaging. He was like 45. Sad that it can get hold of person like that.

John Belushi said that the liver is like a muscle, if you want it to be strong, you gotta WORK it.





of course, he's dead

This.
You quit doing everything and then get run over by a truck!

Nobody cares

I think I’ll have a Dos Equis. Right now…

Currently going through this with 67 year old FIL. He was a dang good machinist when I started dating his daughter in 1999 (still together, now married) who wouldn't drink during the week so his hands wouldn't shake, but he'd be black out drunk Friday and Saturday nights. Then he got laid off in the early 2000's and starting drinking during the week (progressed from 6-8 Budweiser an evening to seven or eight 40oz malt liquors a day, what ever was on sale). He got fired from a dream job (Lake test for Tige Boats) because he was a drunk. FIL and MIL inherited a house in Clearwater Florida and last we talked to them a few weeks ago, in the last couple months he's had two strokes, livers shot and is bedridden, spitting up and crapping blood. Oldest daughter takes care of him wipes his butt the whole shebang. He refuses to go to the hospital and says he will die in his bed. He's a selfish bastard and my wife refuses to talk to him. We will go to the funeral to simply help out her mom. I used to party until the sun come up 10-15 years ago, foolishly driven home and not remembered it numerous times, but haven't had probably 6 beers in the last year. He becomes a mean drunk and I've had to intercept a few of his punches and knock him down a couple times. He'd come over and drink every last beer in the fridge even when we weren't home. Watching his addiction slowly kill him from the inside out made me not want to drink anymore. I have absolutely 0 use for alcohol anymore. I do not have any sympathy for alcoholics, but their families I feel for the most.

This

Very few make it through life "perfect" Usually only "perfect" in own their minds

most of us struggle with Deamons of one sort or another

Main causes are traumas early in life which you never even realize when they happen

people address (medicate) these traumas differently.

Oh, yes, you can also just end up being a dick who no one wants to be around. No booze, nicotine, meds, food. What causes them to be "dicks"?

Trauma, somewhere, sometime in their lives.

This is why there are SO MANY Doctors who treat all types of Mental Illness.

Wise words, Buzz. I've only found one thing that truly helps to deal with life's battles and scars.....lots of prayer.

I do like the sentiment, but I couldn't care less if someone chooses to be pig headed because something happened to them earlier. That still makes them pig headed. I will say, it does not matter how you got where you are. What matters is where you choose to go from there.

Yeah everyone has a story. Some let it bring them down some persevere. I will say in a younger me I had much more disdain for drug addicts, drunks, and run of the mill bums. But I realized that it was not me that kept me from becoming those things. Believe me my “dad” is one and so is his brother. But it was the good Lord and my momma.


Also the folks that get offended by the conversation are strange. Nobody is beating up on anyone for having a whiskey drink for Pete sake. You do you.

"What matters is where you choose to go from there."

Yes

realize you're F'ed up and get help

or let it kill you

I've known some drunks who went to early graves, but the saddest was an acquaintance who passed a few years ago. Young guy in his late 30s, new baby, a stunningly beautiful wife, and as friendly as could be. Unfortunately, he had some demons he could not shake. A couple of trips to rehab, and wife took kid and left after several scary incidents with driving and overall parenting. Said all he had to do was clean up and she would come back. Instead, he died in his sleep all alone. Tragic.

I have another buddy and we were very close. He too had demons and many trips to rehab. After losing touch for many years, I reached out to him when another friend passed to let him know...we had a great conversation and he was honest in saying that he had to let all of his old friends go because anytime he was around people from his past, it somehow triggered his urges. I told him I understood, and wished him the best, and that I was always here if he needed anything. I hope he remains well.

There are those that can drink a bit, and those that can't stop. I'm sure there are reasons for each, and feel blessed that to this point, I am one who can drink a bit, but can stop at one or two. Back in the day is was drink to get drunk, but old age and hangovers have changed things...

One reason I don't drink. My uncle (who taught me to hunt and fish) was an alcoholic and I decided that would never be me.

Just found out that my neighbor in college passed away back in July. He legit struggled with alcohol for a long time, and last time I talked with him a couple years ago he wasn’t doing well.

Addiction sucks no matter how you’re affected by it. RIP Jim.

I could write a book on people that I've known that started out great and threw it all away for drugs and drink. They had the world on a string and couldn't stand success.

I grew up knowing people that came up in hard conditions and succumbed to addiction, some did lose their life.

And I know others that went through all of it, found faith in God, and turned it all around. Something about being flat on your back and having to look up.

If that's where life finds you someday, remember to look up.

Nothing at all wrong with alcohol for those that can do it responsibly, but there is something wrong with me drinking it... as I can't or won't do it responsibly. I'm almost at 9 months without any, and happy.

If you're concerned about your drinking just don't drink for one week, you'll know if there's a problem.

Seems to be three types of addiction with alcohol. Social, Mental and Physical. Problem is most don't see the first two as a problem but you will go through the first two to get to door number 3. That's not a door I want to see anybody open. Sometimes we have to stop and take an honest look at ourselves.

My father was a WWII Navy veteran saw action in the Pacific. He was an alcoholic his entire life. Went over a cliff with me at age 5, hit telephone pole, didn't use seatbelts back, then age 6. Fell asleep at the wheel age 8, hit barriers almost went over a bridge, Drank and smoked heavily my entire life, a case of beer was nothing to him per evening. Went to work every Day for 60 years, retired at 85. Would come to visit 4-5 weeks, drank 1- 5 liter bottle of cheap wine per day. (Carlo Rossi) he left after 5 weeks found 35 empty 5 liter bottles hidden in my hay loft. He stopped smoking and drinking around 87 and died at 92. Never spent a Day in the hospital in his life ( was born in his house) until the Day he died, went in the hospital for one Day. Said good bye to all of us. Died that night in his sleep. He was angry his whole life, always mad at the world, mad at others success, mad at my mom and all of us kids always. Just an overall angry Guy. I can hardly drink, even with friends, turns my stomach to think of all the pain he caused everyone around him for all those years.