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Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. #8699154 09/30/22 08:33 PM
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I know there are some on here that have told their children to "never sell this place." I'm not of that opinion. 'Saw this article and thought it might help some, or their children, on here. Our four have been told that either we, or they, WILL sell the place and split the dollars 4 ways equally. The ranch is my dream, not theirs. bolt

>>>Co-ownership


...and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Gen. 1:28
Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8699191 09/30/22 09:36 PM
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There is an old saying "if you want to punish your children, leave them real estate"


I've seen more families get broken apart due to fighting over a ranch than any other scenario. It's the extreme minority that a property can be willed down to heirs, and everyone get along business as usual. Its happens but that is rare.


For it is not the quarry that we truly seek, but the adventure.
Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8699198 09/30/22 09:44 PM
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But some want their achievement(s), aka "legacy", remembered for generations.
>Ecclesiastes 1-5 KJV


...and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Gen. 1:28
Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8699228 09/30/22 10:17 PM
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I have already told mine to sell, give it to TPWS, or keep it. I sure as hell won't know.

Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8699461 10/01/22 11:08 AM
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I’m guessing you guys have property that you bought; i.e not passed down for generations & inherited from older generations in the family.

Last edited by maximus_flavius; 10/01/22 11:08 AM.
Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: maximus_flavius] #8699472 10/01/22 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted by maximus_flavius
I’m guessing you guys have property that you bought; i.e not passed down for generations & inherited from older generations in the family.

It really doesn't matter. Some bought and some inherited. I inherited some from my parents, but they had sold inherited land to buy this. Something you give to your children when you die is then theirs. You have no control over what is done with it. You just hope it is not sold and the money is used for hookers and blow. But if it is then it is.

Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8699473 10/01/22 12:01 PM
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Think it's conceptually a good idea and way to go but what about that one child of the lot that loves hunting and cowboying or cowgirling that wants ranch ownership, their own family life experiences, etc.? Is it always fair that they get only a divided portion of property and rest sold off? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Size of property may dictate overall fairness, or maybe a will could provisionally allow that child's inheritance a contingency on land only or mostly land only. Who knows; if it's a straight sibling consensus then by all means sell that sucker for as much $$$ as they can get. Lol

Last edited by DQ Kid; 10/01/22 12:03 PM.
Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8699559 10/01/22 02:23 PM
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Good advice. Happened in my family. My dad and 4 of his five siblings were on the same page as to splitting the ranch. One sister was totally against the agreed upon "split" and it blew up into a nasty probate fight and no one speaks to her anymore. And the ranch is out of the family. mad


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Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8699563 10/01/22 02:35 PM
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We have had property in the family for going on 3 generations. 120 acres with a house and a trailer on it.

My Grandmother insisted that the property be [/i]split evenly [i]between her 7 children. There is no way to split property evenly, as not all pieces are equal in desirability or value. She did pass first, so that problem solved itself. My Grandfather sold the land and buildings to my father, who still lets whomever in the family use it and now he will leave the land to my brother.

This is not a great deal for my brother, unless he sells it which I doubt he will do. I expect the access will carry on like it has in the past.


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Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8699593 10/01/22 03:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Creekrunner
The ranch is my dream, not theirs. bolt

>>>Co-ownership


Two things, CR.. First, I’m going through something similar right now and it’s amazing to see how $$$ reveals a persons true character. But second, it takes a tremendous amount of wisdom and humility to make a statement like you did.. Well done, sir. Thanks for the link-


Originally Posted by Jungleexplorer
I really hate to do what I am about to do, because it will be very painful for you.


Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8699686 10/01/22 05:41 PM
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One GF had a farm from 1850s, sold it and moved to town before he passed. Other GF had several farms, IIRC G ma had some too, probably a couple sections total. Mom got them when her folks passed, had them farmed for several yrs, then sold them all. I never saw any. When Mom passed the $ went to G G kids. Not a problem for me. Not my monkey. Daughter got a place with the $, I get to go there and do some work, enjoy. Works for me. Do I feel cheated? Nope. Not something I paid or worked for. My folks set up trusts for what went where, their decision, no dickering. But yup, seen a lot of fighting over what's left in other's families.

Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: DQ Kid] #8699791 10/01/22 09:33 PM
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Originally Posted by DQ Kid
Think it's conceptually a good idea and way to go but what about that one child of the lot that loves hunting and cowboying or cowgirling that wants ranch ownership, their own family life experiences, etc.? Is it always fair that they get only a divided portion of property and rest sold off? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Size of property may dictate overall fairness, or maybe a will could provisionally allow that child's inheritance a contingency on land only or mostly land only. Who knows; if it's a straight sibling consensus then by all means sell that sucker for as much $$$ as they can get. Lol

The one that wants it can buy the others out.

Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: unclebubba] #8700026 10/02/22 12:07 PM
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Originally Posted by unclebubba
Originally Posted by DQ Kid
Think it's conceptually a good idea and way to go but what about that one child of the lot that loves hunting and cowboying or cowgirling that wants ranch ownership, their own family life experiences, etc.? Is it always fair that they get only a divided portion of property and rest sold off? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Size of property may dictate overall fairness, or maybe a will could provisionally allow that child's inheritance a contingency on land only or mostly land only. Who knows; if it's a straight sibling consensus then by all means sell that sucker for as much $$$ as they can get. Lol

The one that wants it can buy the others out.

The reason I have seen that the places are sold is because there were multiple heirs. The one that wants to keep it can't afford to buy the other or others out. That and there is really not a fair way to divide it up. If it 500 acres then 250 acres to each may not be fair because the one 250 acre part may have a lake or buildings that improve the value as opposed to the other 250 acres. I have seen around here where land was inherited by multiple parties. It became a pissing contest and lawyers got involved. Guess who came out the winners. And it wasn't the heirs.

Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8700032 10/02/22 12:30 PM
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Yep. Lotta lawyers in Kimble County wind up with land 'cause of family fights and no funds to pay the piper. 'Bet they lick their chops when anyone walks in and says they want to take a relative to court.


...and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Gen. 1:28
Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: don k] #8700066 10/02/22 01:32 PM
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Originally Posted by don k
Originally Posted by unclebubba
Originally Posted by DQ Kid
Think it's conceptually a good idea and way to go but what about that one child of the lot that loves hunting and cowboying or cowgirling that wants ranch ownership, their own family life experiences, etc.? Is it always fair that they get only a divided portion of property and rest sold off? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Size of property may dictate overall fairness, or maybe a will could provisionally allow that child's inheritance a contingency on land only or mostly land only. Who knows; if it's a straight sibling consensus then by all means sell that sucker for as much $$$ as they can get. Lol

The one that wants it can buy the others out.

The reason I have seen that the places are sold is because there were multiple heirs. The one that wants to keep it can't afford to buy the other or others out. That and there is really not a fair way to divide it up. If it 500 acres then 250 acres to each may not be fair because the one 250 acre part may have a lake or buildings that improve the value as opposed to the other 250 acres. I have seen around here where land was inherited by multiple parties. It became a pissing contest and lawyers got involved. Guess who came out the winners. And it wasn't the heirs.

Right, "just buying them out" is often easier said than done especially with today's pricing.

Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8700928 10/03/22 05:14 PM
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People need to stop being chicken and do things while they are alive. I also dont believe that your automatically entitled to half, or a part, just because your a kid. Leave entire assetts to the one who will take the most pride in owning it. Set it up so it cant be sold and/or divided. My attitude is that my loyalty is to the land and what is best for it. I really dont care if my heirs want a new car, a condo, or to impress a new girlfriend. If they want something get off their butts and earn it, not sale whats been in the family.

If you want to give even parts to each heir, then do it while your alive, dont be a cowatd and "check out" leaving them to deal with it.

Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8701526 10/04/22 03:09 PM
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Everything said on this topic is the gospel. Been there and done that and it was no fun. Money received from having to sell was okay, but none of the family will ever own anything more than we did have. Not a single day goes by that I do not lament the loss of that land. Buying them out was impossible, but co-owning the place and working with them was even more impossible. The curse of inherited land will haunt me until the day I die.


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Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8701573 10/04/22 04:36 PM
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So if you "check out" unexpectedly, and haven't dealt with selling the land yourself, you're a "cowatd"(sic)? I make some bold statements, but this one's just stupid. Sure, I hope I have the opportunity to deal with it for them, but if not, I trust my children enough, they get along well enough, and they have the intelligence and respect for each other to handle the situation. I had to wade through much bigger messes than they will have to, but I don't consider my father and grandfather cowards. That would be idiotic.

Some of the various opinions on the subject, I think, vary because of different people's opinions on what a piece of dirt means to them. As I am a Christian, I've never believed that my home is on this earth (in it's current state). Others consider a place their greatest achievement and want that achievement remembered forever. As I've stated, to me that's vanity. God's just letting me "supervise" my place for a little bit. I'm okay with that.


...and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Gen. 1:28
Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: BenBob] #8701630 10/04/22 06:10 PM
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Originally Posted by BenBob
Everything said on this topic is the gospel. Been there and done that and it was no fun. Money received from having to sell was okay, but none of the family will ever own anything more than we did have. Not a single day goes by that I do not lament the loss of that land. Buying them out was impossible, but co-owning the place and working with them was even more impossible. The curse of inherited land will haunt me until the day I die.



I wouldn't look at it like a curse. You got to enjoy the proceeds of the sale from an inherited asset, that is something to be thankful for.


We sold our family place in 2020, that I got to enjoy for 28 years. Thinly veiled threats from other family members made the possibly of even buying it abhorrent to me, let alone inheriting it, so as much as it pained me to see it go it was a welcome dispersal in the end.

No, I couldn't replace what we had, but that's ok. On to new memories and new adventures.



IME, the way Creek is looking at it, is the responsible way to ensure as little family family drama as possible. If one kid wants to take ownership of the ranch after his passing, they can get a market value appraisal and can cash out the other heirs. IMO That is the most fair and just way there is assuming the estate will be split equally between kids and none are disinherited.








For it is not the quarry that we truly seek, but the adventure.
Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8701652 10/04/22 06:44 PM
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Of course each of us dont know when we are going to die, but alot of people do based on their age. By a certain point in life, people should have things taken care of and laid out. Most people dont want to do these things because they dont want everybody to be mad at them, or hurt feelings, or have someone stop talking to them. In my opinon, who cares!....if you lay out your will and somebody stops talking to you because of it, well you know why they have been hanging around lately. Personally i'd rather the heirs have a problem with me and say things to me, then to have them mad and hate each other for ever. And yes, its a cowardly move to leave things in a mess because its easier for you at the time.

As far as god and "vanity"... i believe he intrusted me with certain stuff, to be a good steward and leave things better than i found them. So in turn, i will not be leaving anything to anyone who will not do the same. I will not allow a piece of land to be covered by concrete either. When it comes to "vanity" i think that relates more to the heir who sells a family legacy to promote and fund a lavish "ungodly" live style. If you want something in life, work for it!

Also people who still have land and assetts passed down are often referred to as being born with a silver spoon or the "it must be nice" comments. The truth is, they just held onto the important stuff instead of getting ride of it to keep up with the jones.

A families net worth increases each day that they own an assett, their net worth decreases the minute its sold. Unless that money is used to create something new....but we all know what generally happens instead.

Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: MAP] #8701661 10/04/22 07:03 PM
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Originally Posted by MAP
Of course each of us dont know when we are going to die, but alot of people do based on their age. By a certain point in life, people should have things taken care of and laid out. Most people dont want to do these things because they dont want everybody to be mad at them, or hurt feelings, or have someone stop talking to them. In my opinon, who cares!....if you lay out your will and somebody stops talking to you because of it, well you know why they have been hanging around lately. Personally i'd rather the heirs have a problem with me and say things to me, then to have them mad and hate each other for ever. And yes, its a cowardly move to leave things in a mess because its easier for you at the time.




Read some case studies regarding family members contesting written and recorded wills. Very interesting.

Often times the land gets sold to pay off the Attorney's Fees.


For it is not the quarry that we truly seek, but the adventure.
Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: txtrophy85] #8701680 10/04/22 07:34 PM
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Originally Posted by txtrophy85
Originally Posted by MAP
Of course each of us dont know when we are going to die, but alot of people do based on their age. By a certain point in life, people should have things taken care of and laid out. Most people dont want to do these things because they dont want everybody to be mad at them, or hurt feelings, or have someone stop talking to them. In my opinon, who cares!....if you lay out your will and somebody stops talking to you because of it, well you know why they have been hanging around lately. Personally i'd rather the heirs have a problem with me and say things to me, then to have them mad and hate each other for ever. And yes, its a cowardly move to leave things in a mess because its easier for you at the time.




Read some case studies regarding family members contesting written and recorded wills. Very interesting.

Often times the land gets sold to pay off the Attorney's Fees.




I've read a few of those over the years, the pissed off sibling doesn't say anything until that person passes. Then they file suit claiming who ever got what persuaded the deceased, etc.


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Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Herbie Hancock] #8701706 10/04/22 07:56 PM
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Originally Posted by Herbie Hancock
Originally Posted by txtrophy85
Originally Posted by MAP
Of course each of us dont know when we are going to die, but alot of people do based on their age. By a certain point in life, people should have things taken care of and laid out. Most people dont want to do these things because they dont want everybody to be mad at them, or hurt feelings, or have someone stop talking to them. In my opinon, who cares!....if you lay out your will and somebody stops talking to you because of it, well you know why they have been hanging around lately. Personally i'd rather the heirs have a problem with me and say things to me, then to have them mad and hate each other for ever. And yes, its a cowardly move to leave things in a mess because its easier for you at the time.




Read some case studies regarding family members contesting written and recorded wills. Very interesting.

Often times the land gets sold to pay off the Attorney's Fees.




I've read a few of those over the years, the pissed off sibling doesn't say anything until that person passes. Then they file suit claiming who ever got what persuaded the deceased, etc.



Seen it first hand. Sold a place for a guy who got sued by his Mom’s family over the farm he inherited, which was left to him solely in her will.

He ended up with a 1/4 of the place, his attorney ended up with a 1/4, they ended up with 1/2 and out of that half their attorney ended up with 51%


For it is not the quarry that we truly seek, but the adventure.
Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8702093 10/05/22 11:58 AM
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Had 20 acres in Oklahoma that I bought next to my brothers land. Told them to use and take care of like their own, well guess white trash mentality took hold and it wasn't good. I just went 2 years ago and gave them the deed and one less thing to worry about and haven't looked back. You can't gift some people out of ignorance giving them access to something. 30K plus down the toilet for me.


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Re: Don't condemn your kids to co-ownership. [Re: Creekrunner] #8702116 10/05/22 12:25 PM
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^^Don't get me started about brothers. Asking the Lord to take this bitterness away is one of my daily prayers.


...and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. Gen. 1:28
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