Acadormant - Students who have stopped making any academic progress.

Assessmental - The idea that high standards for education are possible when assessment testing takes precedence over real learning in the classroom.

Bookstache - The facial hair added by students to every portrait in the American history textbook.

Colate - Two students who arrive tardy to class at the same time.

Corroborative learning - When all the students in a class agree to stick to the same excuse for why their work is not done.

Coverage-based instruction - Instruction based on the idea that what is taught is much more important than what is learned.

Digital disorganizers - Fascinating electronic organizers that distract students from paying attention to assignments, instructions, and due dates.

Dispedefflent - The aroma that fills the air when students remove their shoes during class.

E-fail - Electronically sent failure notices.

Erasivot - The divot that you get in your paper if you erase too hard.

Fontics - Literacy training through the use of wacky computer type fonts.

Handoubt - To wonder if the students even looked at the important papers you just passed them.

Hydropendant - Student who requests permission to get a drink of water every ten minutes.

Hyper-critical thinking - Higher level thinking evidenced by such questions as, "What kind of a haircut is that?!" And, "Why do we have to do this stupid assignment?!"

Interconversations - The office conversations you overhear when someone forgets to turn off the intercom after an announcement.

Letter of recondemnation - A letter of reference from the wrong person.

Magnetic schools - Special schools in which students are either attracted to or repelled by the other students.

McDone - Students unable to participate in the afternoon's learning activities because they consumed large amounts of fast food for lunch.

Meview - A class review of material in which the only one really reviewing is the teacher.

Multiple unintelligences - A variety of ways of not knowing something. Includes, but is not limited to: resistive unintelligence, disinterested unintelligence, distracted unintelligence, unconscious unintelligence, and absent unintelligence.

Pager-turner - A reading so enthralling that the students turn off their pagers so they can finish it uninterrupted.

Plausea - The nauseous feeling a teacher gets while trying to figure out if a student's excuse is believable or not.

Powerpointless - A wonderfully executed, high tech presentation completely devoid of meaningful content.

Repedementia - Repeatedly telling the same joke to the same class because you can't remember which of your classes you've told it to.

Seatables - The little pieces of school lunch that hide on the seats of school lunchroom chairs waiting to adhere to the next unsuspecting sitter.

Shmudgle - The rainbow of color on the heel of your hand from using it as an eraser on the marker board and on overhead transparencies.

Signotsure - The signature that comes back on a mid term report that looks more like the student's than the parent's.

Strobed - Feeling you have after spending all day in a classroom with florescent lights that do that flicker thing.

Substandardization - Standardizing a system of education down to the lowest common denominator.

Teacherscreen - The student who stands in front of you to purposefully block your view of the rest of the class as he asks you a question.

Telesubbies - Substitute teachers who only show videos.

Torigami - Assignment papers folded and unfolded so many times that they are turned in as sixteen separate pieces.

Vistamized - A student so fascinated with the view from the classroom window that he has completely lost touch with what's going on inside the classroom.

Wired classroom - Any classroom in which the teacher has had more than five cups of coffee and each student has had more than two cans of Mountain Dew.

As a former teacher I give this an "A".