Never try to call her when she's getting her hair done. Not only can she not answer the phone because of the stuff in her hair, like the deer lease for us guys, the salon is a special place for women.

And this is especially true on those days when she's getting highlights or color.

Breathing

My fiancee knows to leave me alone when I go to the ranch. I know to leave her alone when she's doing the girly stuff

Leaving the toilet seat up in her bathroom.

I've heard it said that's what any woman wants from her man most, to ALWAYS leave the seat DOWN.

Of course, being in a hurry and not washing your hands when leaving the bathroom can also get you in trouble. I have to give them solid, undeniable credit for that one.

Letting her know 5 minutes doesn't mean 15-30.

This...unless your inhalations and exhalations are to do something she asked for in the exact manner she pictured it in her head

Never understood why this is such a big deal

My wife gets really pissed when I fart, "Do that in the bathroom!!" she says. Any time we are both in the bathroom I'll let one rip.

The list to long even get started. I can be working out of town staying in a Hotel room by myself and I am still doing something wrong.

Reminding her she is NOT my boss.

You ever sit down on that cold porcelain?
It’s pretty eye opening!

"Don't tell me what to do."

my wife says I'm not a good listener or something like that, I think

The list is literally endless

You know you've been married a long time when the wife isn't ashamed to let one go in your presence from time to time.

My wife has always done nearly all the cooking. After we first got married, she would often snap back whenever I asked her when we were eating. Eventually I learned it wouldn't be long if she was hungry, and might be an hour or more if not. From that point on I would just ask her if she was hungry.

Pretty much anything ticks her off, and it’s usually allegedly my fault. Some times it takes her a while to decide WHY it’s my fault, but give her time and she’ll get there. Meteorite on the barn...my fault....

guys wife get mad because he squats in the yard.

In ANY bathroom and your aim better be straight, even in the middle of the night.

I don’t crap is the yard you big dummy!

I've got 99 problems, but this topic is no longer one of them. Thank God.

All of you could have made it up to them if you bought them a new vacuum cleaner for Christmas.