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Are you a senior citizen. #8241035 04/18/21 01:41 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
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bill oxner Offline OP
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I am a Seenager

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.


Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.


Old age is coming at a really bad time.


When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?


Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.


At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.
Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?


Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill


[Linked Image]




Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8241053 04/18/21 01:56 PM
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I am right there with you, Bill.

Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8241099 04/18/21 02:50 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,237
bill oxner Offline OP
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I'm all wore out from a little yard work this morning.
Is it always righty tighty lefty loosey?
I did flush out an Ameriollo.

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Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill


[Linked Image]




Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8241296 04/18/21 06:34 PM
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Old Rabbit Offline
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That hits home Mr. Bill. I go on Medicare in 2-1/2 months and not a grey hair on my head, that was many years ago, I now have snow colored hair. Ran into another retired coworker and he said I flew right past salt and pepper hair.

Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8241299 04/18/21 06:38 PM
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Right on

Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8241811 04/19/21 03:39 AM
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dogcatcher Online Content
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clap


Combat Infantryman, the ultimate hunter where the prey shoots back.
_____________"Illegitimus non carborundum est"_______________

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Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8242068 04/19/21 02:14 PM
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welcome


Not all those that wander are lost..

Back The Blue






Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8242698 04/19/21 11:29 PM
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bill oxner Offline OP
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"Why do old men wake early?" Ernest Hemingway. Old man and the sea. Now on TCM.


Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill


[Linked Image]




Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8244094 04/21/21 03:34 AM
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intohunting Online Content
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I didn't have a 'Senior Moment' or a 'Brain Fart'...I had an intellectual interlude.

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Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8244158 04/21/21 08:45 AM
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Don't talk the talk if you didn't walk the walk.
Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8244518 04/21/21 04:00 PM
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I forget what is doing five minutes ago...


Originally Posted by cody
I've never been a fan of having something on fire in my pocket.
Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8244571 04/21/21 04:58 PM
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bill oxner Offline OP
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Sometimes I forget what I just posted.

Also sometimes I forget what I just posted.


Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill


[Linked Image]




Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8244577 04/21/21 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by bill oxner


I am a Seenager

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.


Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.


Old age is coming at a really bad time.


When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?


Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.


At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.
Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?





you got it right Bill


hold on Newt, we got a runaway
Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8244665 04/21/21 06:52 PM
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I forget what is doing five minutes ago...


Originally Posted by cody
I've never been a fan of having something on fire in my pocket.
Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8272163 05/21/21 12:00 PM
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I hear ya! I’m right there with you ! banana

Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8272303 05/21/21 01:44 PM
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Sadly......this is so freaking true....... hammer


Cabin rental in Pagosa Springs, Co.
Sleeps 10, If interested please PM me.
Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8272926 05/21/21 11:36 PM
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I was born a cotton top and I will die a cotton top, there in the middle I was a dishwater blond. So said my mother.


A man telling the truth does not mind being questioned, a liar does not like being challenged.
Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8272939 05/21/21 11:54 PM
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Yep!


Don't talk the talk if you didn't walk the walk.
Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: bill oxner] #8272974 05/22/21 12:43 AM
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Much truth to this humor.

Re: Are you a senior citizen. [Re: Old Rabbit] #8273060 05/22/21 02:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Old Rabbit
That hits home Mr. Bill. I go on Medicare in 2-1/2 months and not a grey hair on my head, that was many years ago, I now have snow colored hair. Ran into another retired coworker and he said I flew right past salt and pepper hair.



You have hair?


Spartans ask not...how many, but where!
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