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Diagnostic computer (oldie but goodie)
#8222294
04/01/21 05:11 PM
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Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 640
intohunting
OP
Tracker
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OP
Tracker
Joined: Oct 2018
Posts: 640 |
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies…
“There’s a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars – A lot cheaper than a doctor.”
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco.
He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample…. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity.. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Costco! That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure. Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results.. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results .
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours… Get a lawyer. 5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping at Costco!
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Re: Diagnostic computer (oldie but goodie)
[Re: intohunting]
#8222318
04/01/21 05:34 PM
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 29,130
TXHOGSLAYER
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 29,130 |
LETS GO BRANDON
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Re: Diagnostic computer (oldie but goodie)
[Re: intohunting]
#8222321
04/01/21 05:36 PM
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Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 19,133
TCM3
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 19,133 |
Do not forget to entertain strangers, For by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels Hebrews 13:2 (R-TX)
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Re: Diagnostic computer (oldie but goodie)
[Re: intohunting]
#8222352
04/01/21 06:05 PM
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416
bill oxner
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416 |
Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill
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Re: Diagnostic computer (oldie but goodie)
[Re: intohunting]
#8222538
04/01/21 08:17 PM
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Joined: Aug 2017
Posts: 2,767
spacejunkie
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Posts: 2,767 |
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Re: Diagnostic computer (oldie but goodie)
[Re: intohunting]
#8222648
04/01/21 09:45 PM
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Joined: Nov 2017
Posts: 19,271
Biscuit
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THF Celebrity
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Posts: 19,271 |
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Re: Diagnostic computer (oldie but goodie)
[Re: intohunting]
#8222774
04/01/21 11:26 PM
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 9,972
Old Rabbit
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 9,972 |
Good old one, and a cleaner version than I have seen before.
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Re: Diagnostic computer (oldie but goodie)
[Re: intohunting]
#8223062
04/02/21 10:25 AM
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,460
redhaze
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Re: Diagnostic computer (oldie but goodie)
[Re: intohunting]
#8223063
04/02/21 10:29 AM
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,031
deerhunter1956
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Re: Diagnostic computer (oldie but goodie)
[Re: intohunting]
#8224336
04/03/21 04:33 PM
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 4,490
1955
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