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Devil and the old man #8197456 03/09/21 05:31 PM
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texasag93 Online Content OP
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The Devil sat at the gates of hell and an old man suddenly arrives in a burst of flames, looking confused and lost. The Devil looks at his paperwork, and frowns. He is unable to find this old man’s data file.

“This can’t be right,” the old man grumbled, looking at the Devil, “I’ve been a good man my whole life.”

The Devil nodded apologetically, most people said this when they arrived at Hell.

“Why don’t you start with how you died and we’ll figure it out.” He said

The old man signed and said: “Well, I was with my grandchildren, enjoying a fun day out. I don’t get the grandchildren often because my eyesight is starting to fade. But we were having the most wonderful time. And that’s when everything went crazy!”

“Out of nowhere, I spotted the largest, most grotesque mouse I’ve ever seen moving towards us. It was absolutely enormous! It moved straight towards the grandchildren with limbs outstretched. You don’t know where mice have been, what if it had’ve bitten one of them? Can you imagine if they got rabies on my watch?”

“So what did you do?” The Devil whispered, entranced by the story. He was munching on a box of popcorn.

The old man continued, “You don’t get how big this mouse was! Radiation it must’ve been. Too many phones these days, that’s what causes it. I did the only think I could! I grabbed my walking stick and I cracked it over the head. Now my eye sight isn’t that good anymore, but I whacked it good!”

The kids started screaming at this point. You know how they get when you have to kill an animal. But I needed to keep going. You see with mice, you need to see their guts to know their dead. Otherwise they’ll be back with others.”

“So you killed it?” The Devil asked. Some of his demigods had come to listen to the story.

The old man nodded, “By golly I did! Guts and all were splattered for all to see. The kids had lost their mind at this point. Tears everywhere. A crowd had gathered as well, all screaming at the sight. It was at this point though, that the exertion caught up with me. I felt my heart give way. I must have suffered a heart attack. Next thing I know, I’m here.”

“Well,” the Devil said, concerned, “This doesn’t seem to add up. Let me just give Heaven a call and we’ll try and see what’s going on here.

The Devil pulled up a phone from thin air and dialled a number. “Hey Jesus bro,” the Devil said, “I think I’ve got one of yours here. His story checks out. Must have been a mix up.”

The Devil nodded as a voice on the phone spoke back to him. He gave the old man a silent celebratory thumbs up as the voice continued. The Devil covered the phone speaker with his hand, turned to the old man and said, “You’re all good, they just want to know where you were when you died.”

The old man nodded, “Oh that’s easy, I was at Disneyland.”

Re: Devil and the old man [Re: texasag93] #8197496 03/09/21 05:56 PM
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decook Offline
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HAHA, I saw something else coming but this punchline was even better.


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Re: Devil and the old man [Re: texasag93] #8197503 03/09/21 06:08 PM
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bill oxner Online Content
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The devil don't have no stinking phone.


Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill


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Re: Devil and the old man [Re: texasag93] #8197518 03/09/21 06:38 PM
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fishdfly Online Content
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Ya you know him huh?

Re: Devil and the old man [Re: texasag93] #8197753 03/09/21 10:41 PM
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Biscuit Online Shocked
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😳

Re: Devil and the old man [Re: texasag93] #8199256 03/11/21 02:21 PM
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😉

Re: Devil and the old man [Re: texasag93] #8211493 03/23/21 03:13 AM
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Showed it to my wife! She loved it lol


If you look back over your life are you fully satisfied you pleased the Maker of Creation. Are you fully assured that you have trusted in His Son, Jesus Christ, for your salvation. Are you confident that you have a definite hope of going to Heaven?

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Re: Devil and the old man [Re: texasag93] #8222153 04/01/21 03:33 PM
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Lol

Re: Devil and the old man [Re: texasag93] #8222159 04/01/21 03:37 PM
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