Words of wisdom.

I don't have kids and I haven't read through this whole thread, but here's my advice from what I've observed working at a university:

1. Have your kids take an aptitude test before they graduate high school. I cannot tell you how many students I've dealt with that either don't know what they want to do after college or hate what they're studying, or take 2 to 3 years longer than they should have trying to find what interests them. One poor soul was on either their sixth major at their fifth school, or their fifth major at their sixth school. I also have a friend that studied engineering because his dad told him to. The kid sucks at math. Dang near didn't graduate high school because of math. He had to drop all but one of his classes his first semester and the one he stayed in, he failed. Ended up switching schools, majoring in Kinesiology, joining the ROTC and will graduate in May. He'll be going into the Army in May and wants to be a PT. Great kid. Not an engineer.

2. If your kids are set on higher education, community college...do the basics there and save a fortune.

3. Teach your kids how to: balance a checking account, BUDGET...and live at 50% of income if possible, how to do their taxes. Also, teach them about scams that will be tried while they are in college...identity theft scams are rampant.

4. Teach your children how to grocery shop and cook... again, I cannot tell you how many kids go eat fast food instead of eating at their apartment/dorm because they cannot cook.

5. Establish credit for your kids. Put them as an authorized user on one of your accounts, don't let them use it without your knowledge, have them pay it off. That is more helpful than you can imagine. Then when they get old enough they can have their own credit and pay less in interest.



I learned a lot of things in school when I was growing up that is not taught nowadays and I'm only 45. A lot of the young adults I deal with a very sweet, filled with memorized material, and clueless. Our education system is more about memorization than actual learning and proficiency of subject matter.

May God bless all of you with children. I don't know how y'all do it.

When my kids got to middle school we got tired of handing out 20’s every friday after football games or to go to the movies, etc...so we said heres your budget for the month, we gave them 100/month for their money. We said we will pay for some clothes, a pair of shoes (or if they have athletics we would pay for those too) but if they wanted to go to the movies, out with friends, or buy a new shirt, they made the decision, not us. Not only did that teach them the cost of things, but it made them in charge of their decisions and they had to learn the concept of delayed gratification. Save if you want something.
We also deposited this into a savings account they had access to, and set it up on their phones so they could track their money and make sure they knew how to use a bank.
When they started driving we got them a debit card to buy gas with, among their other expenses, so theu could get the feel for what paying with “plastic” was and help curb the Credit card gaffes college kids make. We did increase the money some to account for gas, but not a ton. Many times they had to make tough decisions.
We told them either play sports or get a job. All my kids worked even though they all did athletics. Very unlike most of their friends. This taught them the value of money, after they had learned to handle money (in small amounts).

When my kids go to college their tuition is paid for four years, and they know that up front. We pay their room and board if they live on campus, apartment and a meager food allowance if off campus. My oldest graduated in 3.5 years, and lived two years off campus eating lots of ramen and bargain food. She knows how to make a penny work. My younger two arr both about to move off campus and learn how to make food money stretch. My son has had some idea of that as most his friends eat out every weekend and he goes and gets to-go food from the dining hall and takes it with him to the restaurants his friends eat at.

We will always be there to help if needed, but we have been very clear with the kids, my wife and i are “rich”, they aren’t. We have spoiled them with memories and experiences, not with stuff (trust me my kids are spoiled but that is such a relative term and compared to their friends they are roughing it) and they have perspective to know how some of the world lives to know they want to do better.

My job as a parent is to raise kids that grow wings and can fly away from the nest. I want them to he free to fly home sometimes, but i don’t want to be holding their wings open nor at the same time cutting their wings off. It can be a fine line, i see so many parents co-dependent on their kids and kids dependent on their parents it is sickening, but i want to see them become successful independent happy adults. The financial part is just a small aspect, important yes, but small. Raise your kids right and you wont need to worry about how much money you can give them or what the situation of the financial world will look like when they grow up.

Thank you for posting buckeye that is good advice.

Best thing you can do is get them through all of their education without debt, IMO. I have 529's for all of my kids and started as soon as they were born, the growth is tax free so there are tax advantages to doing this. Many of my friends had large school loans and it was a huge financial burden that inhibited their savings in their early working years. Also translates to making it more difficult to buy a home or with investments.

If you own your own business you can put your kids on the payroll and use that money to contribute to a Roth or brokerage account....more tax savings that way as well. Less flexibility with the Roth though.

I also did what Bobo did and set up a Family Trust for if/when my wife and I die with scheduled payouts just like he mentioned.

I agree it's a hard balance on teaching kids value of money if you can provide for them well and not let them get too spoiled. We make our kids save their BDay/Christmas money and use it to buy their own stuff that we think is unnecessary. Once they get to working age I may make a deal with them that I will match any amount they save to help them understand expenses and living on less than what they have....hopefully it instills saving for them.

Bottom line is money is a tool that creates opportunities....that is the main thing I want my kids to learn. My Dad was always pretty open with me on financial talks and that is how I learned a lot early on. At some point, maybe when your son is in HS, I'd probably tell him you have it and show him what early saving can do and he can see the results, then at some point let him make some decisions with it....most wisdom is gained from firsthand experience, provided he doesn't blow it all.

I like Buckeye's idea of an "allowance" that they have to use to pay for some of their own expenses at a young age and balance where it goes.

Good advice Doc

It is called an allowance, Mine was a quarter each Saturday, !t was 15 cents for a double feature movie and a dime for popcorn and coke. I supplemented it with another half dollar from an old woman for bringing in her coal. The joys of city living. We lived in the city of Marianna, Arkansas with a population of 5,000.

You hush!

But yes, my wife is beautiful and brilliant.

What are some movies you saw?

Roy Rogers who was in love with Dale Evans, Remember Lone Ranger with his sidekick Tonto, Gene Autry who picked a guitar , and Lash Laroe who you did't want to mess with. They also, threw in a cartoon, a news reel ( mostly about the big war), they always threw in a silly love story.

The best way you can set your kid up for success is to lead by example. If you have good work ethic, motivation, discipline, time management skills then he will see that and follow in your footsteps. Of coarse there will be times where you have to set your child straight. Keep them busy sports, scouts, after school programs whatever they are into. Make them earn things rather than always handing them what they want. If you can afford to put them through Trade school or college require them to still work part time this will teach them how to manage their time and also teach them stress management. If I had a big nest egg just for my kid I wouldn’t tell them about it I’d let them think they have nothing coming to them when I’m gone.

Interesting read. I grew up dirt poor. My wife grew up middle of the road. Wife has a college degree, I have a degree in "suck it up and keep going". My wife tells me I try too hard to make sure our two girls have everything. Lets not get confused. They are not spoiled and do not wear high end clothing, drive BMWs etc.

I know they have seen our struggles more so my upbringing and can appreciate less as more. The oldest is a teacher (she has her bachelors and masters in teaching) and purchased a house not long ago and does good etc. The youngest is at UTSA and will get her bachelors in May (accounting) then stay another yr to get her masters as well. We have sacrificed alot. Many things were put on hold and still on hold to make sure they could get an education.

By no means am I saying every person has to have a degree, so don't take it as such. In some fields like what they have chosen they do need it. We did the Texas Tomorrow Fund many yrs ago back when it was offered. It helped with our oldest to get her through college. Very little was left when the second one started. The only good thing was is about the time she started school we paid our house off. We are paying her school, books, apartment, etc by cash flow.

I never want our girls to say their parents never gave them a chance to make themselves better in life. I can't think of a more positive thought then knowing your children are doing better then you in all walks of life as adults. I think that's what being a good parent is then again your thoughts may be other. They have been afforded the chance to make something of themselves, be independent and be a positive member of this great World. Will all of them do that? Not sure as I can only keep tabs on my two and so far I am happy for them. Our two can never ever say "well my parents didn't care so blah blah blah" They have been given the jump start how they go from there is on them.

Snipers words are wisdom personified. His spot on eloquence is appreciated & envied here. I was lucky enough to be presented with three daughters. I believe what Sniper says about sons is also true about daughters. I just wanted them to be able to succeed on their own and without having to get married to get along. Now all three are married to men whom I appreciate and enjoy. Like usins, each one came from unions that were never taken apart. Consider myself lucky here. Our will was set up to take care of college expenses and then dole out the remainder 1/3rd at a time at 25, 28 and 31. It's pretty much a moot point now as Shotsie, the youngest one just turned 29. Now it may be time to address protecting what is intended for the kids in the event I pass and Wifeypoo is fortunate enuff to remarry (a good husband this time), something I would want for her.

"I gave my son my incredible good looks and large brains. I figure he's set" It could be a generation skipping gene on the father's side of the family. You knows what say, mama's baby, papa's maybe.