You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let's say
that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was
hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.

A cousin has supplied you with the only known photograph of Remus, showing
him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture are the words:
"Remus Starr: Horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison, 1885.
Escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton
detectives, convicted and hanged, 1889."

Pretty grim situation, right? But let's revise things a bit. We simply crop
the picture, scan in an enlarged image and edit it with image processing
software so that all that is seen is a head shot.

Next, we rewrite the text: "Remus Starr was a famous cowboy in the Montana
Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable
equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroads. Beginning
in 1885, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government
facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In
1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned
Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important
civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was
standing collapsed."

You are ready for a position in government

Good lord

Sounds as if he is a upstanding citizen.. I would have appealed.

You need to go in business writing real estate ads!!

what? give up a lucrative career... with the DNC??

I believe you are speech writer for the DNC. Every thing you said was true. Sort of. Lol

I read that many years ago and its still just as funny. Thanks for posting.