texashuntingforum.com logo
Main Menu
Advertisement
Affiliates
Advertisement
Newest Members
jljones527, CountryTime, Jimbo42, 3rdCoastHunter, Sgt.Augie
69818 Registered Users
Top Posters(All Time)
dogcatcher 110,265
bill oxner 91,250
SnakeWrangler 63,167
stxranchman 59,718
Gravytrain 45,838
RKHarm24 44,585
rifleman 44,461
BMD 41,232
Forum Statistics
Forums46
Topics602,306
Posts11,229,405
Members84,818
Most Online19,184
Feb 5th, 2020
Print Thread
Bible Facts By Kids #7987782 09/25/20 01:36 PM
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,847
B
Bar-D Online Mad OP
Veteran Tracker
OP Online Mad
Veteran Tracker
B
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,847
My wife showed me this. Enjoy.

Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. if you know the bible, even a little, you'll find this hilarious! It comes from a Caithness school test.
Kids were asked questions about the old and new testaments. The following 25 statements about the bible were written by children. They have not been retouched or corrected. incorrect spelling has been left in.

1. In the first book of the bible, Guinness. god got tired of creating the world so he took the sabbath off.

2. Adam and eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.

3. Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.

4. The jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.

5. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

6. Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.

7. Moses led the jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

8. The egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to mount cyanide to get the ten commandments.

9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

11. Moses died before he ever reached canada then Joshua led the hebrews in the battle of geritol.

12. The greatest miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

13. David was a hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.

14. Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

15. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the magna carta.

16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager.

17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.

19. Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.

20. It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.

22. The epistels were the wives of the apostles.

23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

24. St. Paul cavorted to christianity, he preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marraige.

25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.


People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf
Re: Bible Facts By Kids [Re: Bar-D] #7987846 09/25/20 02:27 PM
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 118
H
hunt15 Online Content
Woodsman
Online Content
Woodsman
H
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 118
Auto spell check

Re: Bible Facts By Kids [Re: Bar-D] #7987852 09/25/20 02:28 PM
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 14,380
TCM3 Online Content
THF Celebrity
Online Content
THF Celebrity
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 14,380
happy3


Texas First. Texas Forever
texas
Re: Bible Facts By Kids [Re: Bar-D] #7987996 09/25/20 04:26 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,250
bill oxner Online Content
THF Celebrity
Online Content
THF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,250
banana


Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill


[Linked Image]




Re: Bible Facts By Kids [Re: Bar-D] #7988130 09/25/20 06:12 PM
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 8,499
O
Old Rabbit Online Content
THF Trophy Hunter
Online Content
THF Trophy Hunter
O
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 8,499
Those are hilarious, but I thought you said there were some misspelled words. Oh wait, I almost forgot I am from Esat Taxes and couldn't find them.

Re: Bible Facts By Kids [Re: Bar-D] #7988285 09/25/20 09:25 PM
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 224
B
bear64 Offline
Woodsman
Offline
Woodsman
B
Joined: Nov 2016
Posts: 224
I had to stop reading, im sitting in a deer stand and was trying to muffle my laughs so hard I hurt my self lol

Re: Bible Facts By Kids [Re: Bar-D] #7988388 09/25/20 11:00 PM
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,176
R
redhaze Offline
Veteran Tracker
Offline
Veteran Tracker
R
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,176
clap

Previous Thread
Index
Next Thread

© 2004-2022 OUTDOOR SITES NETWORK all rights reserved USA and Worldwide
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.3