When I was a little boy I would often go over the my bachelor Granddad's house. One day my mom took me over early, just in time for breakfast. Granddad served me up some scrambled eggs, but the plate was filthy. In my little boy innocence and whining, I said, "Granddad this plate is dirty," and he said "hush up boy and eat. That's as clean as cold water can get it." I did as I was told.

Around lunchtime I was very hungry, we'd been playing as granddad's and boy's do. But when he handed me the sandwich he'd made for me, I again said, "Granddad, this plate is dirty too" and he said again "hush up boy, that's as clean as cold water can get it." Later that afternoon, my mom came over to get me and honked her horn from the car. I ran out on the porch, but Granddad's dog started barking and growling at me. I hollered for Granddad and Granddad hollered at the dog "Coldwater you hush up your barking!"

I tried not to visit much around mealtime after that.

This is not a true story.

That’s funny!!

. That's good! When my second ex-wife and I first bought this place we had everyone over for the first Thanksgiving. After the feast I was in the kitchen with Mom, my lovely bride, and a few aunts. I held the first plate down for my bird dog, Rusty, to lick clean. Everyone said "awwww, how cute!" Until I reached it up like I was putting it back in the cabinet. Bride was not amused.

Ha, that’s funny