An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and sees an old farmer sitting on his porch petting his dog. He figures he will have a little fun, so he says to the farmer, "G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"

Old Farmer, "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."

Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"

Dog (via ventriloquist): "Doin' all right."

Old Farmer: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing to farmer)

Dog: "Yep"

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me good food and takes me to the lake to play once a week."

Old Farmer: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist : "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Old Farmer: "Horse doesn't talk either, ....I think."

Ventriloquist : "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool."

Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Old Farmer: (look of total amazement)

Ventriloquist : "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

After a long pause.....

Old Farmer: (in a panic) "The sheep's a f**kin' liar!"