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New Name
#7815999
04/23/20 12:47 AM
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,115
texasag93
OP
THF Celebrity
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OP
THF Celebrity
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 10,115 |
This good looking man walks into an agent's office in Hollywood and says, "I want to be a movie star. Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.
The agent asked, "What's your name?" The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian." The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you must change your name." "I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever." The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you."
"So be it! I guess we will not do business together,” the guy said and he left the agent's office.
FIVE YEARS LATER ... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awestruck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...
"Dear Sir,
Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood; you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You said I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.
Thank you for your advice.
Sincerely, Dick van Dyke
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Re: New Name
[Re: texasag93]
#7816005
04/23/20 01:06 AM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,524
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,524 |
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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Re: New Name
[Re: texasag93]
#7816086
04/23/20 02:26 AM
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,539
BayouGuy
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 3,539 |
If you can't laugh at yourself, give me a call. I'll gladly laugh at you. "I keep trying to see Nancy Pelosi's and Chuck Schumer's point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my [censored]." Senator John Kennedy, Louisiana
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Re: New Name
[Re: texasag93]
#7816092
04/23/20 02:36 AM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,904
Simple Searcher
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,904 |
"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark
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Re: New Name
[Re: texasag93]
#7816103
04/23/20 02:50 AM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,904
Simple Searcher
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,904 |
That reminds me of a story from many years ago.
I was helping a close friend do some electrical work for a lesbian couple. He ask me where his "pair of dikes" were (electrical term for a type of wire cutters) I told him they were in the bedroom. He walked into the bedroom and boldly asked the ladies, "have y'all seen a pair of dikes?" He turned and walked out of the bedroom and said he was going to kill me. We laughed about that for years. RIP Bobby P.
"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark
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Re: New Name
[Re: texasag93]
#7816215
04/23/20 06:02 AM
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 110,795
dogcatcher
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 110,795 |
Combat Infantryman, the ultimate hunter where the prey shoots back. _____________"Illegitimus non carborundum est"_______________
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Re: New Name
[Re: texasag93]
#7816285
04/23/20 12:01 PM
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416
bill oxner
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416 |
Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill
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Re: New Name
[Re: texasag93]
#7816288
04/23/20 12:03 PM
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,458
redhaze
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,458 |
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Re: New Name
[Re: texasag93]
#7816388
04/23/20 01:40 PM
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 488
Ders26
Bird Dog
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Bird Dog
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 488 |
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Re: New Name
[Re: texasag93]
#7818453
04/24/20 11:58 PM
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Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,176
Bee'z
The Beedazzler
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The Beedazzler
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,176 |
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Re: New Name
[Re: Simple Searcher]
#7818876
04/25/20 01:38 PM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,524
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,524 |
That reminds me of a story from many years ago.
I was helping a close friend do some electrical work for a lesbian couple. He ask me where his "pair of dikes" were (electrical term for a type of wire cutters) I told him they were in the bedroom. He walked into the bedroom and boldly asked the ladies, "have y'all seen a pair of dikes?" He turned and walked out of the bedroom and said he was going to kill me. We laughed about that for years. RIP Bobby P. Oh god that’s funny....
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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Re: New Name
[Re: texasag93]
#7821879
04/28/20 05:43 AM
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,708
pigplinker
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,708 |
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Re: New Name
[Re: texasag93]
#7826377
05/02/20 12:09 AM
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 69,187
NORML as can be
^^Cut the Cord^^
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^^Cut the Cord^^
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 69,187 |
(R-TX) .-- " TCNN CURL CRLB VFF VRNO AYR SNDL CGC TLRY MSOS "
_=====___=________==-
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Re: New Name
[Re: texasag93]
#7832213
05/07/20 10:53 AM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 43,903
Stub
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 43,903 |
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