This good looking man walks into an agent's office in Hollywood and says, "I want to be a movie star. Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.

The agent asked, "What's your name?" The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."
The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you must change your name." "I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever."
The agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you."

"So be it! I guess we will not do business together,” the guy said and he left the agent's office.

FIVE YEARS LATER ... The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awestruck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed...

"Dear Sir,

Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood; you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You said I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice.

Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke

That reminds me of a story from many years ago.

I was helping a close friend do some electrical work for a lesbian couple. He ask me where his "pair of dikes" were (electrical term for a type of wire cutters)
I told him they were in the bedroom.
He walked into the bedroom and boldly asked the ladies, "have y'all seen a pair of dikes?"
He turned and walked out of the bedroom and said he was going to kill me. We laughed about that for years.
RIP Bobby P.

Oh god that’s funny....