A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER:

We will heel you

We will save your sole

We will even dye for you.



A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK:

“Blind man driving.”



Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”



In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels.”



On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels



At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for,

You've come to the right place.”



On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed.”



On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”



At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:

"Invite us to your next blowout.”



On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts.”



In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and

will take appropriate action.”



On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push.”



At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”



Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”



In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”



At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.

However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”



In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”



In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait.”



At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank Heaven for little grills.”



In a Chicago Radiator Shop:

"Best place in town to take a leak.”



And the best one for last…;

Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

“Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises”