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Paraprosdokians #7800880 04/09/20 03:27 PM
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bill oxner Offline OP
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Here you go all you shut ins


1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you ...but it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up -- we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, "In case of an emergency, notify..." I answered "a doctor."

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find someone older than me.


Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill


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Re: Paraprosdokians [Re: bill oxner] #7800882 04/09/20 03:32 PM
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mikei Online Content
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Good 'uns!

Re: Paraprosdokians [Re: bill oxner] #7801272 04/09/20 10:01 PM
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18). When your girlfriend asks you to name all your sex partners in order, it's a good idea to stop when you get to her name.


No prayer in school....What's next, no thinking in church?
It's not just about pie in the sky when you die. It's also about steak on your plate while you wait!
Re: Paraprosdokians [Re: bill oxner] #7801316 04/09/20 10:46 PM
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19) Smart men ask questions.
20) Wise men never ask questions they aren't ready to answer.


"I have no idea what WW-III will be fought with, but WW-IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

A. Einstein

Re: Paraprosdokians [Re: bill oxner] #7801700 04/10/20 05:45 AM
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dogcatcher Online Content
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cheers


Combat Infantryman, the ultimate hunter where the prey shoots back.
_____________"Illegitimus non carborundum est"_______________

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