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When TV was funny
#7798788
04/07/20 06:14 PM
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416
bill oxner
OP
THF Celebrity
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OP
THF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416 |
These great questions and answers are from the days when 'Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now!
Q Do female frogs croak?
A Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how highshould you be?
A Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q . Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..
Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A Paul Lynde: Point and laugh
WE DON'T STOP LAUGHING BECAUSE WE GROW OLD, WE GROW OLD BECAUSE WE STOP LAUGHING! KEEP ON LAUGHING TIL THE END!
Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill
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Re: When TV was funny
[Re: bill oxner]
#7798817
04/07/20 06:56 PM
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 22,630
Cast
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 22,630 |
I saw a lot of those happen.
Cast I have a short attention spa
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Re: When TV was funny
[Re: bill oxner]
#7798907
04/07/20 08:55 PM
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 4,593
decook
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 4,593 |
and how many of you heard the voices as you read them, especially Paul Lynde?
Press for an AMERICAN.
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Re: When TV was funny
[Re: bill oxner]
#7798988
04/07/20 10:27 PM
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,460
redhaze
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,460 |
A winner, and I heard their voices. Thanx.
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Re: When TV was funny
[Re: bill oxner]
#7799040
04/07/20 11:32 PM
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 446
falmike
Bird Dog
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Bird Dog
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 446 |
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Re: When TV was funny
[Re: bill oxner]
#7799079
04/07/20 11:57 PM
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,987
Michael W.
THF Trophy Hunter
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THF Trophy Hunter
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,987 |
Thanks, I needed a laugh.
A clear conscience is often the sign of a fuzzy memory.
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Re: When TV was funny
[Re: bill oxner]
#7799328
04/08/20 03:16 AM
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Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 19,134
TCM3
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Mar 2019
Posts: 19,134 |
Do not forget to entertain strangers, For by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels Hebrews 13:2 (R-TX)
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Re: When TV was funny
[Re: bill oxner]
#7800253
04/08/20 10:18 PM
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,495
der Teufel
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,495 |
These were FUNNY !!
I have two unwritten rules: 1. 2.
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