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Gotta Love the Irish
#7764521
03/06/20 10:02 AM
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,458
redhaze
OP
Veteran Tracker
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OP
Veteran Tracker
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 3,458 |
Patty staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen.
He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.
Managing not to yell, Patty sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.
He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed..
In the morning, Patty woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room.
She said, 'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'
Patty said, 'Why d ya say such a mean thing?'
'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly ....... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
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Re: Gotta Love the Irish
[Re: redhaze]
#7764534
03/06/20 11:47 AM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,514
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,514 |
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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Re: Gotta Love the Irish
[Re: redhaze]
#7764608
03/06/20 01:51 PM
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416
bill oxner
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416 |
Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill
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Re: Gotta Love the Irish
[Re: redhaze]
#7764636
03/06/20 02:14 PM
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Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 488
Ders26
Bird Dog
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Bird Dog
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 488 |
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Re: Gotta Love the Irish
[Re: redhaze]
#7765236
03/07/20 02:49 AM
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,745
fredeboy
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,745 |
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Re: Gotta Love the Irish
[Re: redhaze]
#7765291
03/07/20 04:38 AM
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Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,167
Bee'z
The Beedazzler
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The Beedazzler
Joined: Jul 2015
Posts: 23,167 |
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Re: Gotta Love the Irish
[Re: redhaze]
#7774717
03/17/20 11:31 AM
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,708
pigplinker
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,708 |
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Re: Gotta Love the Irish
[Re: redhaze]
#7775471
03/17/20 11:05 PM
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416
bill oxner
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 91,416 |
Subject:: a St. Pattys day thought....o' A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, “Free Sex with Every Fill-Up.”
Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10, and said that if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Paddy guessed 8, and the proprietor said, “You were very close, the lucky number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time.”
A week later, Paddy, with his friend Mick, pulled in for another fill-up Again Paddy asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Paddy guessed 2. The proprietor said, “Sorry, it was 3, you were very close, but no free sex this time.”
As they were driving away, Mick said to Paddy, “I think that game is rigged and he doesn’t really give away free sex at all.”
Paddy replied, “No it’s genuine enough Mick. My wife won twice last week.”
Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill
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Re: Gotta Love the Irish
[Re: redhaze]
#7777298
03/19/20 01:14 PM
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 107
RMCFACE
Woodsman
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Woodsman
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 107 |
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Re: Gotta Love the Irish
[Re: redhaze]
#7780377
03/21/20 05:47 PM
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Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,220
Big8
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,220 |
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Re: Gotta Love the Irish
[Re: redhaze]
#7786749
03/27/20 01:18 PM
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Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 43,847
Stub
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 43,847 |
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