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For us IT guys #7733212 01/30/20 04:52 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 22,630
Cast Offline OP
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How to get the most from the IT guys -

When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s art. We don’t have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
Don’t write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages from here.
When an I.T. person says he’s coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won’t be there when we need your password. It’s nothing for us to remember 300 screen saver passwords.
When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what’s keeping you from getting it. We don’t need to know that you can’t get into your mail because your computer won’t power on at all.
When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete it at once. We’re just testing.
When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.
Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.
When the photocopier doesn’t work, call computer support. There’s electronics in it.
When you’re getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your telephone line from here.
When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call computer support. We’re collectors.
When something’s wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T. person’s chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.
When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don’t have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.
When an I.T. person tells you that he’ll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice : “And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?”. That motivates us.
When the printer won’t print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.
When the printer still won’t print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.
Don’t learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by “my thingy blew up”.
Don’t use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.
If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 20kg of computer sitting on top of them.
If the space bar on your keyboard doesn’t work, blame it on the mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.
When you get a message saying “Are you sure?” click on that Yes button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren’t sure, you wouldn’t be doing it, would you ?
When you find an I.T. person on the phone with his bank, sit uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs up. We don’t have any money to speak of anyway.
Feel perfectly free to say things like “I don’t know nothing about that computer crap”. We don’t mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.
When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call I.T. support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a master’s degree in nuclear physics.
When you can’t find someone in the government directory, call I.T. Support.
When you have a lock to pick on an old file cabinet, call I.T. Support. We love to hack.
When something’s the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn’t know anything about the problem.
When you receive a 30mb (huge) movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We’ve got lots of disk space on that mail server.
Don’t even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the queue.
When an I.T. person gets on the elevator pushing $100,000 worth of computer equipment on a cart, ask in a very loud voice: “Good grief, you take the elevator to go DOWN one floor?!?” That’s another one that cracks us up no end.
When you lose your car keys, send an email to the entire company. People out in Birmingham like to keep abreast of what’s going on.
When you bump into an I.T. person at the grocery store on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We do weekends.
Don’t bother to tell us when you move computers around on your own. Computer names are just a cosmetic feature.
When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office, leave the documentation at home. We’ll find all the settings and drivers somewhere.
In no way do we believe that end-users are ungrateful. It hurts our feelings that one could even think such a thing on the basis of the above statements. In truth we wish to express our deepest gratitude to the hundreds of wonderful end-users portrayed herein, without whom none of this would have been remotely possible.
Your friendly computer guy.


Cast

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Re: For us IT guys [Re: Cast] #7733213 01/30/20 04:52 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 22,630
Cast Offline OP
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banana


Cast

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I have a short attention spa
Re: For us IT guys [Re: Cast] #7733214 01/30/20 04:54 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
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NORML as can be Online Content
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Re: For us IT guys [Re: Cast] #7733243 01/30/20 05:21 PM
Joined: Jan 2007
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Language.

Pretty much my life.



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Re: For us IT guys [Re: Cast] #7733252 01/30/20 05:24 PM
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 15,612
Q
QuitShootinYoungBucks Offline
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As an IT guy I hope you'll understand TL;DR.


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Re: For us IT guys [Re: Cast] #7733253 01/30/20 05:25 PM
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Hopedale Offline
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Nailed it


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Re: For us IT guys [Re: QuitShootinYoungBucks] #7733260 01/30/20 05:29 PM
Joined: Feb 2013
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krmitchell Online Content
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Originally Posted by QuitShootinYoungBucks
As an IT guy I hope you'll understand TL;DR.


Lol

This one made me laugh. Have to deal with this all the time. Then someone has to spend an hour clearing all the print jobs from the printer when it was a paper jam that started the issue in the first place.

When the printer won’t print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.
When the printer still won’t print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.

Re: For us IT guys [Re: Cast] #7733274 01/30/20 05:50 PM
Joined: Jul 2006
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TT


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Re: For us IT guys [Re: Cast] #7733295 01/30/20 06:04 PM
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 4,536
0
007hunter Offline
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Preach it brother...ON POINT

Re: For us IT guys [Re: QuitShootinYoungBucks] #7733412 01/30/20 07:25 PM
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 19,165
J
Judd Online Confused
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Originally Posted by QuitShootinYoungBucks
As an IT guy I hope you'll understand TL;DR.


rofl


Originally Posted by Phil Robertson
Don't let your ears hear what your eyes didn't see, and don't let your mouth say what your heart doesn't feel
Re: For us IT guys [Re: Cast] #7733483 01/30/20 08:30 PM
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,829
Adchunts Online Content
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And please respond "ALL" to a company-wide email. We all want to know you won't be attending the meeting because your cat is sick.

Re: For us IT guys [Re: Cast] #7733607 01/30/20 10:24 PM
Joined: Aug 2019
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oldrancher Offline
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I had a remote location user call me first thing one morning that her computer wouldn't work. It was on when they left at 5 but not in the morning. Are you sure it has power? Why of course it has power. It was working last night so why wouldn't it have power this morning. It's dead. You will have to bring me a new one. Finally I had to ask to at least lean down to check to see if it was plugged into an outlet. It wasn't. She plugs it in and presto, everything boots up and was working smoothly. The next morning she calls me again. Computer is dead. Bring her another one. Did you check the plug. No. Why should she. She plugged it in yesterday so why would it be unplugged again. Finally figured out the night cleaning crew was unplugging her computer to plug in their vacuum cleaner and didn't bother to plug it back in. This happened several times in other locations also. bang

Re: For us IT guys [Re: Cast] #7733977 01/31/20 03:43 AM
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Davis300 Offline
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I use the old ID 10 T in my closure notes quite frequently.

Re: For us IT guys [Re: Cast] #7734050 01/31/20 11:22 AM
Joined: Aug 2004
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J.P. Greeson Offline
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Don't ever know something that your IT guy does't. That can really cause a problem.

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