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Thoughts #7724708 01/22/20 12:50 AM
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bill oxner Online Content OP
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-------I CAN RELATE TO A LOT OF THESE







When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.




To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.




When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.




Interviewer: “So, tell me about yourself.”

Me: “I’d rather not. I kinda want this job.”




Cop: “Please step out of the car”

Me: “I’m too drunk. You get in.”




I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.




I had my patience tested. I’m negative.




Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.




If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say

“Did you bring the money?”




When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.




Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 is the new midnight.




I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.




I run like the winded.




I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.




When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”




I don’t remember much from last night, but the fact that I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning

tells me it was awesome.




When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?




I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.




When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”




It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.




Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.




That moment when you walk into a spider web suddenly turns you into a karate master.




Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life outta nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever.

We call those people cops.




The older I get, the earlier it gets late.




My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.


Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill


[Linked Image]




Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7724806 01/22/20 02:27 AM
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fredeboy Online Content
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roflmao

Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7724954 01/22/20 10:41 AM
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fray Offline
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laugh

Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7725589 01/22/20 08:45 PM
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Sparta Offline
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roflmao

Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7725741 01/22/20 10:56 PM
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Halfadozen Offline
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Well done Bill!


Freedom is a fragile thing ...Those who have known freedom, and then lost it, have never known it again.
-- Ronald Reagan


Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7725774 01/22/20 11:17 PM
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HuntingTexas Offline
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Greatness.


" In God We Trust "



Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7725874 01/23/20 12:48 AM
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Michael W. Offline
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I can relate to a few of those.



A clear conscience is often the sign of a fuzzy memory.
Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7725881 01/23/20 12:55 AM
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clap roflmao


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Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7725884 01/23/20 12:59 AM
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Slow Drifter Online Content
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I thought getting old would take a lot longer than this.


"I have no idea what WW-III will be fought with, but WW-IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

A. Einstein

Re: Thoughts [Re: Slow Drifter] #7728029 01/25/20 11:37 AM
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takewhatyoucan64 Offline
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Nailed it................man that so nailed it.


"Welcome to the desert of the real."
End of discussion and self analysis. Shoot the guilty and move on. Death is the only faithful thing in life.
Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7728652 01/26/20 07:13 AM
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NORML as can be Online Content
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happy3


.------- " Keep America Great! "
.-------
ACB CURLF CGC ACRGF GWPH VFF CRLBF







Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7733430 01/30/20 07:42 PM
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TSU99 Offline
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I can relate to the last one...


Originally Posted by cody
I've never been a fan of having something on fire in my pocket.
Re: Thoughts [Re: Michael W.] #7740199 02/07/20 07:09 PM
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Mr. T. Online Content
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Originally Posted by Michael W.
I can relate to a few of those.

I can relate to 90% of those.........how sad! up


Cabin rental in Pagosa Springs, Co.
Sleeps 10, If interested please PM me.
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