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Thoughts #7724708 01/22/20 12:50 AM
Joined: Nov 2009
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bill oxner Offline OP
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-------I CAN RELATE TO A LOT OF THESE







When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.




To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.




When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.




Interviewer: “So, tell me about yourself.”

Me: “I’d rather not. I kinda want this job.”




Cop: “Please step out of the car”

Me: “I’m too drunk. You get in.”




I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.




I had my patience tested. I’m negative.




Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.




If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say

“Did you bring the money?”




When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.




Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 is the new midnight.




I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.




I run like the winded.




I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.




When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”




I don’t remember much from last night, but the fact that I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning

tells me it was awesome.




When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?




I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.




When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”




It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.




Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.




That moment when you walk into a spider web suddenly turns you into a karate master.




Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life outta nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever.

We call those people cops.




The older I get, the earlier it gets late.




My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.


Quail hunting is like walking into, and out of a beautiful painting all day long. Gene Hill


[Linked Image]




Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7724806 01/22/20 02:27 AM
Joined: Dec 2011
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fredeboy Online Content
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roflmao

Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7724954 01/22/20 10:41 AM
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redhaze Offline
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laugh

Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7725589 01/22/20 08:45 PM
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Sparta Offline
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roflmao

Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7725741 01/22/20 10:56 PM
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Halfadozen Offline
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Well done Bill!


Freedom is a fragile thing ...Those who have known freedom, and then lost it, have never known it again.
-- Ronald Reagan


Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7725774 01/22/20 11:17 PM
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HuntingTexas Offline
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Greatness.


" In God We Trust "



Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7725874 01/23/20 12:48 AM
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Michael W. Offline
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I can relate to a few of those.



A clear conscience is often the sign of a fuzzy memory.
Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7725881 01/23/20 12:55 AM
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HoneyBeez Offline
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clap roflmao


[Linked Image]
Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7725884 01/23/20 12:59 AM
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Slow Drifter Online Content
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I thought getting old would take a lot longer than this.


"I have no idea what WW-III will be fought with, but WW-IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

A. Einstein

Re: Thoughts [Re: Slow Drifter] #7728029 01/25/20 11:37 AM
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fadetoblack64 Offline
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Nailed it................man that so nailed it.


The wind in the wires made a tattle-tale sound
And a wave broke over the railing
And every man knew, as the captain did too
T’was the witch of September come stealin’
Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7728652 01/26/20 07:13 AM
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NORML as can be Online Content
^^Cut the Cord^^
Online Content
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happy3


(R-TX) .-- " TCNN CURL CRLB VFF OGI SNDL CGC TLRY "

_=====___=________==-
Re: Thoughts [Re: bill oxner] #7733430 01/30/20 07:42 PM
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TSU99 Offline
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I can relate to the last one...


Originally Posted by cody
I've never been a fan of having something on fire in my pocket.
Re: Thoughts [Re: Michael W.] #7740199 02/07/20 07:09 PM
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Mr. T. Offline
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Originally Posted by Michael W.
I can relate to a few of those.

I can relate to 90% of those.........how sad! up


Cabin rental in Pagosa Springs, Co.
Sleeps 10, If interested please PM me.
Re: Thoughts [Re: HoneyBeez] #7748121 02/17/20 01:32 PM
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Stub Online Happy
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Originally Posted by Halfadozen
Well done Bill!

Originally Posted by HuntingTexas
Greatness.

Originally Posted by 2Beez
clap roflmao


texas flag

Gossip dies when it hits a wise person’s ears.
Rumor and lies are created by haters, spread by fools, and unfortunately believed by the naïve!






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